Sorry I didn’t get a chance to log yesterday, but man-o-man, what a wild day it was! I prayed for a priest for healing when I went there for healing and God used me to pray for him!!! Wow, that was exciting. He then anointed me for the sacrament of healing for the sick and I was also able to receive the holy communion which I haven’t been able to get for over 4 months! (I was very ill and too unstable mentally to go w/o crying.) I really missed that and plan on maybe bi monthly or weekly short mass on Wednesday morning mass. I think it will really grace my walk and help me in many ways.
I then went to Lenscrafters and found out that I will have 20/15 vision with my new glasses and that I do not need bifocals yet, YAY me!!! I then had a great time with visitors, H and his son D –we went to their favorite place to go when they come down from for a visit. I enjoyed pizza and their company… went for a tour of campus for D, he’s looking at coming down here for college. That would be awesome! He’s a great kid, H should be very proud. (I should tell him that!) Then the best part…. We walked around downtown and ran into DK of DofU – talked briefly. Turns out he did not move to New Orleans and would be glad to help me out with lessons and song writing assistance/ lessons. How cool is that?!!! I think he has a lot of talent in music and also artistically. He also seems like a lot of fun to hang out with, crazy kind of like me, He invited me to meet up with him any day 3-7 he’ll be at one of two café’s and told me to just message him on facebook the day before to set a meet-up for a lesson at a café! I think God really had a hand in perfect timing because I just got his latest cd from the library yesterday and had just finished listening to the entire cd! (literally about 3 hours before we ran into each other.) so, yes, I do believe there is no such thing as a coincidence… it’s more like a God-incidence! So, I’m really looking forward to learning with D and hope it all goes well.
In regard to today, I had an awesome time after the service at church tonight. I asked God to give a prophetic word to me through someone on the prayer team. told me that God is reaching down as I’m reaching up. That he loves me so much she felt an incredible warm feeling that she said He feels for me- it touched her so much she teared up as she told me about it. She also said that there is something like a pesky fly over her shoulder that can be flicked aside- that it was not a big huge scary thing. (my illness is what I heard is the fly) then she asked me what she needs to pray for and I felt ok to share. I told her chemical imbalance. She prayed a quick prayer and I said to her that I still feel the problem is so big and heavy that I need more faith that I can be healed. She prayed for me to have God show me this week in many instances how much he loves me. (more God-Incidences?) I’m excited to see what God has in store for me!!!
So, God, I thank you so much for an awesome weekend!!! And tomorrow is Sunday and am looking forward to another wonderful day with you. Please help me calm down and sleep well tonight. Last night I was so happy and filled with your love… I couldn’t sleep until 4:30 a.m. good thing you helped me sleep in until 10:30 so I enjoyed a good day w/o being too sleepy.
*** Mar, you know that I love you and I just wanted to make sure you remembered that I am with you and also that you will be taken care of. You don’t need to worry about the “fly”… just remember that I (God) am so much bigger than Satan and that we will heal you soon. Just hang in there. D will pray for you. Tell her your story about what happened in T. Tell her everything. Tell her about drugs, H and what happened there, tell her about Unity and the meditations – religious spirits??? What is that? (Dl was talking about that and I’m not sure about that!) And tell her especially about your trip to the retreat and how when you gave your life to me… tell her how mental illness overtook you and that you’ve struggled with it since then… 1989.-23 long years. It is time to let it go. It is time to be healed, Mar. D will know exactly what to do. You can trust her. Just ask her to please not announce it or talk about it. Tell her you feel very self-conscious about it and that you would really love it if she could keep it confidential.
Then, Mar- I would like you to send her flowers as a thank you with a nice note. I’ll help you write the note. You will be healed and free of your illness, but don’t stop taking the zyprexa for a year. You can lower it with Dr W… over time and then if all goes well, taper off it completely. This will take about a year. You have me in charge of your life. You asked me to manage your life on that day in 1989 and it may not seem like it, but I have been with you through your ups and downs. I helped get you through so many things and I ‘ve been with you in your pain. It saddened me to no end, and I just want you to know that I am soooooo proud of you. You have come such a long way. You really are a champion! I love you so much, kiddo…. and I thank you that you never forgot me. You never thought I didn’t love you and you never got mad at me. You are truly my beloved daughter, in whom I am well pleased. I love you, Mar.
Oh, my Lord, daddy, I love you so much and am so humbled that you would say those things. Who am I that you should love me that much? I feel so glad to hear you say that and thank you for verifying it tonight at church with the woman who had tears telling me how much you love me. Please help her know also how much you love her. Please reach out to her tonight in some way let her not be sad… I felt like she maybe wished that for her. I know you love her just as much if not more… all your children need to know how much you love them. Help me spread the word in some powerful way. Your children need to know first hand how much you love them. I trust and know in my heart that you will show them soon. May I be in any service to assist, please use me.
Ok, so, also I had this wonderful dream yesterday morning… after all that’s happened since then, I almost forgot to tell my morning pages… I don’t want to forget any of this! Ok, so I awoke from a dream. Mind you, I do not have any bible passages memorized with their chapter/verse with it. I had no idea what it said in John 16… so , in my dream, I was being interviewed on a radio station because of the miracles that were happening at our concerts and radio stations around the world. I was telling everyone how much Jesus loves them, died for them, and heals them. I was sharing that Jesus came for everyone. Whoever comes to him, he invited to relationship with him and the Father. Then, I saw a couple from China who had 4 girls dressed up in dresses. They were holding their parents hands and looked happy to be hearing the good news. Then in my dream, DB told me to read John 16. I said “What?” and he repeated John 16 again (with an exaggerated voice – to be sure that I read it) so, of course when I awoke right after that, I went to my bible and read: 1 John 16 “All this I have told you so that you will not fall away. 2 They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to God. 3 They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me. 4 I have told you this, so that when their time comes you will remember that I warned you about them.”
Well, I read it, thought about it and said to my other journal in my Class notebook: Lord, if you can use me, then whatever you want- I want. No matter the cost. Please help me be who you want me to be. I offer my life to you in service to you and your children. Lord, I ask that you work great miracles and bring all of your children home to you… you amaze me! And I will not hold back because of John 16… you amaze me & I will shout it from the roof tops that you amaze me and that you alone are to be worshiped. May your Glory Reign!!! You are my King. I believe only in you! I offer my life to you… let’s ROCK this WORLD! It’s party time!!! :0) You are one Kewl King!!!!
Thank you for this weekend- so far it’s been a stellar weekend. The best I’ve ever had because you showed me so clearly your love for me, and you told me to have hope and be of good cheer! Jesus will heal me and my life is just going to be getting better and better each day. I am so in love with you and so in love with my divine mission. Help me be who you want me to be. Help me think what you want me to think, help me laugh at Satan, “the knat fly”. Please help me have enough time, energy, resources, love and compassion to do this work. Lord, I ask that you help me have a good night’s sleep. Protect me in my sleep and guide me into sweet dreams. Help me be refreshed and feel your presence again tomorrow as I’ve felt your loving warmth the last two days. I love feeling your love in my forehead and hands (where Fr. anointed me with oil) Please keep close to me and send your angels to be with me always. Guide my steps and keep watch over my mind, so that the deceiver is no longer welcome to confuse me and lead me astray or paranoid. Heal me, Lord. I love you so much! Thank you for your love. I really, really, really dig it!!! You are amazing and awesome! Amen, night God.