Thank you dear God, for helping me get through Thanksgiving without overeating or saying the wrong things to my family. Thank you for giving me a wonderful family, even if holidays are stressful. Family dynamics are complicated, but you saw me through. I am thankful that it is over, to be honest, because I feel so inadequate when we all get together. Help me in difficult moments, give me the right words to say. Thank you that you always are with me and love me even when I am not as loving as I would like to be. Thank you for your forgiveness and mercy. I am thankful that you see my heart and know that I mean no hard feelings. I only am not socially adept. Thank you for showing me what to do yesterday and for being with me, even though I didn’t pray. I am sorry I didn’t pray yesterday for your assistance. I know I would have dealt better with family if I would have. Thank you for your love. I can’t thank you enough for your Unfathomable Divine Mercy.
Q1-What could I have done better yesterday? I feel an anxious feeling in the air whenever we all get together.
Q2-What would you like me to do today and tomorrow while DB is gone? I would like to do something special either for you or him. Any ideas?
Q3-Mother Mary, I do not know how my mom can prepare for amazing holidays cooking like she does and making it all so fancy. I’m glad I helped out, but I’m ashamed to say, I would rather have a relaxing informal holiday- in order to get away from such a stressful time. I’m unfortunately, dreading Christmas because of the expectation, family interactive stressors, and busyness. I just want to relax in the love of Christ and celebrate your son’s birthday in peace. I know I’m being ungrateful and rude in thinking this, but I’m being honest here. I am so sorry. What can you tell me that will help me out with this? I know I would miss it if we didn’t all get together. One day we won’t have each other anymore, and I will miss everyone! . That makes me sad to think about. What should I do?
Answer Q1- You did your best. You deal with your family the best that you can. You have a lot of stress when you get together. I know. You don’t need to explain it all to me, I know everything that is happening. I see everything and understand your heart. You have insight and can feel what other people are thinking. Unfortunately, a lot of your insights are a little bit of paranoia stitched into your thinking. The tension was thick in the air, but you handled it just fine. Don’t worry what other people are thinking. It’s none of your business and you don’t need to concern yourself. Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will want the best for you or understand you- even your family at times. You really helped your mom out, and she was very grateful. They understand you have issues; they just don’t know what to say or how to deal with you and your issues. Unfortunately, they make it more difficult for you at holidays. I know holidays are hard for you. We will help you get through Christmas. Don’t worry about it. Enjoy your time with DB this advent. Celebrate Christmas this year with additional time devoted to him. We will get you through this. Just do your best and help your mom.
Answer Q2-Get through all the projects on your to do list. That will make you feel you accomplished much while he was gone and you will relax yourself by keeping busy and getting stuff done. Tomorrow when he comes home, enjoy yourselves Saturday Night and Sunday. Enjoy your time with him by trying not to tell him what to do. Make his time blessed by trying to be more loving and kind this advent. Focus on him and his needs more this Christmas. Try not to stress him out.
Answer Q3–Enjoy yourself! Enjoy time with your parents and relax more around your family. Try not to worry about what they are thinking. Focus on DB this Christmas and also help your mom again. She really, really appreciates it. You will have informal holidays later in your life, when you are in charge of them, but for now you really need to be more appreciative, more helpful and maybe have a drink to relax a bit! 🙂 hahahaha… Don’t you know that all you are feeling is normal?!!
All families have issues like you have. Don’t worry. Just try to not take it so seriously. Laugh more, and enjoy yourself. Take shifts to help out your mom so you can enjoy your dad; spending a few minutes with him and also UM. Don’t work too hard… but help your mom when she needs help. A fine balance… 🙂
I will be with you and you will have a glorious Advent and nothing will ruin Christmas if you don’t let it bother you. Relax, I said it again. Relax.
Prayers: Thank you for all your help. I feel better now. I thought I disappointed you yesterday. I thought maybe I said something, or did something, or didn’t do something – I felt badly about yesterday. I left after dishes were done and felt like leaving was rude. I don’t thinks so, You really helped me out with what you just told me. I am sorry I am not appreciative enough. I am sorry I don’t like the way mom wants to celebrate so fancy. I’m sorry I am so sensitive. Help me not think this way anymore. Help me relax at holidays. Thank you so much for knowing my heart and for telling me you were not disappointed. That’s all that matters; your approval and love. Thank you that you are merciful and understand everything like no one else does. Love you!!!
xo,
~amen.