Thank you for family and for our get together with My two uncles and AM. It was good to see everyone again. Thank you for safe travels this Christmas. Thank you for St. M and my friends that I have come to know through DIvine Mercy Canticle. Thank you for this amazing gift of a Television from my parents. We are enjoying the large screen and fantastic picture. Thank you for healthy food and for inspiring me to eat fruit and vegetables until March. So far so good, one day down. I think it will get easier as time goes by and when my taste buds change. Thank you for a nice vacation last week and this week. Thank you for your unfathomable divine mercy. Thank you, Jesus.
Scriptures Dec 28th
Matthew 2:13-18
Herod killed all the newborn males under 2 years old. The first martyrs? The innocent children were murdered, thank God Jesus survived by way of the dream to Joseph. Mary must have been scared and tired from the trip to Egypt.
Q1-Holy Trinity, my God, my everything… why am I having such a hard time in expressing myself around other people? It’s like I am having social anxiety or something. How would you be able to use me? I am a misfit and don’t fit into the whole scheme of things. I don’t want to be around people sometimes. I feel like I’d be maybe happier a hermit. (not really, just sometimes.)
Mar, you are feeling this way because you don’t feel comfortable around other people. You thoughts are sometimes causing you to lose your focus on the conversations. Your mind is wired for a completely different system. You are built for your mission. Your assignment calls for a unique brain scheme. Don’t worry. You can feel free to say no if you don’t want to go to functions. Forget what other people are saying or expecting. Do what makes your comfortable and less stress. You don’t have to go to Chicago in April if you are not up for it. Do what you need to do, but you don’t need to make a decision until April. I know no one understands, Mar, but we do so just relax and do what you need to do. It’s ok. Don’t cry, I know the illness is stressful and puts limitations on you…. it’s all fine, whatever you choose to do, don’t give it another thought. You are in control of your life. You are an adult and you don’t need to put other people’s expectations onto your stress. You have enough to think about and you really don’t need to stress about going to functions if you don’t want to deal with the added stress. Feel free to do what you need to do. You don’t need to do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing.
Q2-Mom, what do you think I should do about UM’s Party in April?
Don’t think about it. The party is 4 months away. Forget about it and revisit the question in April. That is all you need to do; don’t think about it until then. Whatever you decide is fine. I know it is frustrating for you. Relax and enjoy whatever you decide to do and then just do that.
Closing: I am actually quite frustrated at my limitations. I would love to be carefree and happy around family and other people… I just am not that person anymore. I used to be. No longer. That is sad. God, take this suffering and turn it into something good. That’s what you do best. Ok? Make something beautiful out of these ashes. xo,
Amen.