Today I want to talk about a few things I have the Siri microphone taking notes for me. I’m finally feeling back to normal and was able to go to my dads drum gig to help him set it up and take down. I felt great so I went to church and reconciliation, it felt fabulous! I don’t know if this is going to be my new base at 30 mg Zyprexa, but it’s working well so I may only go down a little bit more and stay at 20. Now my big decision is whether not I should go to Florida as planned. In one way it would be very relaxing as well as In a way very stressful. Any suggestion on your end as far as what I should do?
Another thing I have questions about – why do I feel like this world and its entire darkness getting even stronger darkness each day I feel like it’s getting worse and worse. Is there something that I can do to help out with this? If there is I have no idea what I can do on my own there’s nothing I can do. Only with you is anything possible.
Dad I feel like the entire plan of bringing light back in to cover the world like it depends on me and I know that’s wrong -that’s my illness, but that’s how I feel like it’s all on me and it’s kind of a big burden if you can imagine. I keep forgetting to put in punctuation. I am rambling on I know but I feel like there’s something I need to get off my chest. I can’t handle this on my own. There’s something anything I can do then just please lead me there. I am lost. I feel so alone. And I don’t know what else I can do. I feel like I’ve blown it. I feel like there’s something I was supposed to do somehow and I have not done it! I thought it was on the right track but now I feel like I’m just so far gone and out of the game.
I really need your help God- if there something you want me to do I need your help I can’t do this on my own. And then on top of all this I’ve got to deal with paranoia… and anxiety so whatever I can do I offer it up but you’re in a have to do something some strong miracle works within me to get me to where I need to be. I pray that you get me to where you want me to be so I can do this thing. Whatever this thing is that we have in mind. If it is eternal party people, Inc. Or holy trinity app or if you still can use ShamRock studios, I’m all for it so let’s maybe get me to where I need to be for this, I’m just getting older, more stressed thinking about this.
I know you’re in control and that you’ve got this. But I feel like I’ve let you down, dad. I really feel like time is running out. But I know you are the author of time, father God, I pray your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, amen!
The darkness is so great, dad. Dad, you have to help us! You have to come for us dad we love you and we want to share your love with the world. Let your light shine strongly on us, all us in the world here are lonely souls morning & weeping in this valley of tears. All the hunger, evil, darkness, hatred, violence, ingratitude of your love and spitting in the eye of God, they don’t know what they’re doing. They just do what they see around them and there’s only evil all around. I don’t know how much darker the darkness can get dad. The media music and entertainment in United States is brainwashing the kids and I feel so sorry for them because they don’t know what they’re doing. They are being led by blind darkness. It’s time for your light to shine. It’s time for Jesus and his love to overcome the world! If I may be so bold as to declare that. Come Lord Jesus and save us, mother Mary, save us. Jesus and Mary save souls. Jesus and Mary help me help you to save souls. Please lead me in the right way. The way to go. Show me what I need to do. Love, equip and empower me to do my dad’s will. Love, Holy Spirit, empower & equip me to always do what you want me to do and to do it powerfully, bravely & with courage and love.
Mother, I pray that you give me a pure heart. Please always be with me and guide me lead me in the way of Christ perfection. I pray that you help me be a better person and I strive to be more like Christ. Mother please please please please please help me live with a pure heart. Show me the way to go in all things. I love you mom.
Love, thank you for getting me through each day. You give me the strength to go on. You help me overlook the hurt and pain that I go through. You give me the boldness courageous and strong will tenacious and ready to go and charge onward in my mission for God and for his children. They don’t even know how much he loves them. That breaks my heart. I want everyone to know how much dad loves them. There is so much hurt and need for God right now. Help me invite them to the eternal party. I can’t stand the thought of them going to hell. I know it’s none of my business what other people do, but I’m forcing goodness upon them I suppose by my wishing them well. I only wish well for all people. And what in my mind is good and well and right and just is for all God’s children to come home and be with their father for eternity. Not in some dark torturous dank foul-smelling pit of hell for eternity. No that’s for the demons only and Lucifer. And I know that Christ died on the cross for all of us. And I know that the cross was a huge success. If only people would open their eyes and except it, dear God, that is my prayer.
Mother, help me get this message across to people. Mother would you please pray for miracles to happen so that people can see God -Jesus, King Jesus…alive in their lives reaching each one of them in a personal and real and powerful way. I think a phone app could put that in the palm of their hand and lead them in the way to pray and a fun inactive and powerful miraculous way. JC care instead of Obama Care where they go to the app and pray along with the app and Jesus will show up for all their needs!
I love you guys, thank you for listening to me. I need to go now, Please pray for me, all you wonderful Saints and Angels… Please don’t forget I need your help! Mom, Dad, Jesus, Love, I want to tell you guys that I’m still in this game. Don’t give up on me. I won’t quit! I hope I am not too late for the victory bash! Count me in; I’d love to kick some Lucy booty with you, Mom! Please help me do your will, lead me on. Show me the way… I’ll follow. Love you guys. Gotta go, DB just came home so I need to chat with him. I think we’re going to the Grocery store.
Nite, Love you!
xo,