Q1- Dad, I feel overwhelmed because I don’t remember the things I need to remember. For instance, I watched videos on songwriting and I feel like I have forgotten it all in the last 5 hours since I watched them. What am I supposed to do when I can’t retain any information? My brain is not cut out for learning anymore… I feel odd and misplaced all the time as if I were floating in space without direction. You will have to work some serious miracles to get much talent or music that is listen-worthy out of me.
***I told you “I got this, Mar.” don’t you remember? All you need to do is be available, with a good heart and intentions, and open to the Holy Spirit working in you. We will do the miraculous in your work. You will be astonished at the songs that will be produced in this manner. Take heart! I am in control and I love you. I will work some “serious miracles” and you will be proud of your music. You have much assistance. You have no idea what goodness is in store for you and DB. Hang in there. Keep the faith. Love Much. Sing and pray in the spirit. Write songs. Freestyle to get ideas. You will be surprised.
Q2-Holy Spirit, I am very tired. I will have to ask you guys quick question/answers tonight. (Sorry) Will you help me pray with RW tomorrow when I go visit him?
*** Yes, I and your mom will pray with you and him when you get over to the nursing home, but pray on your way over there for us to be with you. RW will really appreciate your visit.
Q3-Jesus, sorry, I am falling asleep. Could you pray for DB and me? He’s such a grouch today. I don’t know what to do when he gets like this.
*** Just be nice, loving, and try to make him laugh. That should help. Pray for us to help you and him get along better when this happens. It will be a game changer. Honestly. Try it. Finally, if you do all you can do, then try to give him space, and try to ignore the insults and sarcasm grumpiness. Don’t take it personally. It’s his issues. Not you.
Q4- Mom, I love you. Sometimes I feel so homesick. I don’t belong here. I want to be with you guys and it’s so difficult sometimes. It feels like I’ll never be able to go home. I don’t want to die, though. It’s not that bad. I just have this achy feeling that I miss heaven and all my family. Here I feel so alone. It’s as if even my family are against me sometimes. I know that feeling is part of my mental illness, but it feels so real. As if half the time, the people I love- hate me, wish I were dead; it’s the paranoia, I know. But it feels like the cyclical good/evil personas of most people I know, are laughing at me, watching me even in the bathroom, wishing me all sorts of things that would be bad… they would rejoice to see me in pain. I don’t want to give in to this feeling. Even if it were true somehow, I don’t really care what they think. In many ways, this spiritual battlefield, is just a game… but I desperately want to win one for the team. I want to be a victor and not a victim. Can you help me?
*** Mar, don’t waste one tear on those fools. (meaning the enemy or evil spirits) You are doing wonderfully. Hang in there. Soon all this suffering will be repaid with manifold return. We are offering up every ounce of this pain. Many souls are being freed, will be freed, and able to escape hell when people offer up their sufferings to God. Mar, you are winning this game. Hang in there! Don’t look back. Look forward in anticipation to all the good things that are coming. I will give you the grace to endure and I will see to it that every blow the devil hits you with will 7 fold return back for our team. We love you. Get plenty of sleep. This funk will soon be over. (Hormones are speaking to you with anguish. Soon you’ll feel better mentally and physically.) Take care of yourself.
Closing: Thank you. I love you all so much. Please keep praying for me. Goodnight. xo!~Mar