Hi, thank you, God, for showing me some interesting insights to your triune love relationship as one love. So, when I talk with you, Lovie, I am actually conversing completely with God the Father and Jesus…. So I can address you while actually not leaving out Dad or Jesus- right?
~Mar you are correct. You don’t need to worry about leaving out any part of God when you talk with one; you get all three… three in one. We are inseparable. We are distinct yet we are one. You glorify God when you speak with one of us; we love to talk with our family.
What could you tell me about tonight… going to M&D house?
~ I know what you are thinking… you are expecting a test. That is good, because it is all a test. You only need to do what God wants in each moment. That makes it simple. You don’t need to worry about pleasing anyone but God. It is very nice of you to bring them flowers. They will love the kind thought. But as far as eating, you won’t be hungry since you had a late lunch/early supper at 2pm. That is no problem. Just tell you mom, no thank you, I’m not hungry- tell her you came to visit and DB loves her cooking!
I get stressed, it seems like the people I love are “evil” at times… paranoia in a sense. Not a scary way but in a trickery way- trying to accuse me or make me stumble. The paranoia comes cyclically from Good to Evil. Like, Mom would be Mother Mary then later Satan himself/herself… Dad would be God one minute, then Satan rotating in a nonsensically manner. DB would be Jesus, then Satan’s Nephew on mission to mess me up. It is all very sick. I am tired of this game. Schizoaffective Disorder is what it’s called. Chemical but it seems so real. I hate when the stress is on when I am dealing with this problem. I try to space my visits and time spent with people because of this issue. It is very exhausting. It is hard to be nice when I feel I’m being attacked by the enemy and that person(s) are family. It seems so lonely, like I have no one who actually is for me 100% of the time… no unconditional love… only love/then hate towards me. It is so sad. I try not to think about it. I try to focus on you, God. But sometimes, I just think it would be easier to become a hermit/monk and go live in a hut in the desert somewhere. Lol. Not really, but I would like to see this problem go away. Will I ever be free of this illness in my lifetime, or will I always have to deal with spiritual battles of this chemical sort? It is so hard to be loving when at that moment, it seems as if I am looking evil in the eye. What should I do?
~ 3 things: First, don’t make visits when you are tired. This takes a lot of energy. It is good for strengthening your spiritual muscles. Loving in this kind of atmosphere will gain many graces for you and for lost souls. This kind of suffering is powerful. We can use it for much good when you offer it up for souls. So, go when rested and make the visits shorter if possible. Second, don’t take it personally. Go into the situation with an attitude of not caring if the person is upset with you. That is the energy you get when you win your battles with love towards them… but not caring if they are angry with you. It only seems they are angry with the energy you feel, but this is not real. So don’t take it personally. Just tell yourself, they must be hangry or in a bad mood not caused by you. Love them more. Love will conquer this kind of evil/spiritual battle. And Lastly, just look to God for what he would like you to do in each moment and ask Him to help you not get upset or angry. God will work miracles for you as a reward for passing these battles! We love you, Mar. You can do this. 1,2,3!