Today is the day after Halloween and I realized I haven’t written in 5 days! I am sorry. It is bad when you are too “busy” to talk with God. I do talk with you daily, in my thoughts but it is good for me to write it all down so I can think “out loud” and get your responses here- even if they may just be my own thoughts twisted somehow into thinking they are from you. That’s ok, if I’m wrong – it’s just for me anyways. No harm done.
*** Mar, some of these words are from you, but the important parts are from me. You have a lot to deal with. Your head is swimming and needs rest and clarity. You find that here on the morning pages.
Yes, and I love that I get to hear from you. I’m glad you don’t mind. So, yesterday was Halloween- the dreaded holiday of darkness. I hate Halloween. M & J made it great, though. We were able to see 23 trick or treat kids – and they were really cute. I just have a hard time with the scary costumes. Not because it actually scares me- it is more of a sadness to see people glorifying gore, blood, knifes through their head, or living dead zombies, etc. Glorifying the darkness that rules this world. I also have experienced “junk in-junk out” as in when I see and put those ugly pictures into my head, they come out when I am ill through paranoia, hallucinations, etc. I just don’t want that in my system. That’s also why I don’t watch horror movies, either. But in my past Halloweens, yep- you got it… I dressed up as a vampire- all including blood, teeth, etc.
So what have we missed here in the last 5 days? I went to the Healing 101 class and also the Prophetic Knowledge class. Both were incredible. In the healing class we also did an exercise in prophetic knowledge. I was amazed at how accurate I was able to speak. I think it was just coincidence, though. I don’t know. One of the guys told me that he saw Hummingbirds sipping sweet nutrition (spiritual nutrition?) from me. ????? I don’t understand that. He also said he saw a gifts! I like gifts! I also had a word from R that “God wants to bless my path” which he confirmed for me the next day when I saw him. A lot of other stuff happened but of course, when I wait 5 days- I have forgotten all of it! That should be my lesson! Write it down, or you’ll forget it!
*** I did tell R that I want to bless your path and I also showed P’s Brother the gifts I have for you. You will be surprised! I can’t wait to see your face when you get it!
Daddy, You are so mean…. ;0)
…teasing me like that!!!! Ha, I can’t wait! You bless me every day with tons of gifts! Thank you for all of it! Thank you for the beautiful lake with geese and ducks out my window. It makes working so much more enjoyable with such a fantastic view. Thank you for my sweetheart, DB, my family and friends. Thank you that we have power, heat, water, bathrooms, all without a flood like they are having in the East. I pray to you for them, Lord. Please help them all get through it. For the people who have died because of the storm, I pray that you take good care of them now. And for their families, that you will comfort them. Thank you so much for all that I have- it doesn’t seem worth even saying because it is impossible to put to words gratitude. All I can do is love others for you. That is how I would like to show my gratitude to you. Help me be your eyes, hands, feet and heart for your family here on earth. They are my family also and I want to be a better sister for them. Please help me understand deeply my role as their sister. Put it onto my heart to love and care more for your children. Put aside any of my thoughts that are less than honorable and loving. In Jesus’ name, I pray.
*** Mar, when you pray like that, you will always receive. You will experience more love for others. (Because you asked me to give that to you- I shall)
Great! thank you! So, this past Saturday I started the fresh, live, living raw food “diet” and am really enjoying it. Today is day 6. I weighed myself after 3 full days on it and lost 4 pounds. Mostly water, I’m sure, but I’ll take it! Thank you that DB is open to it and is even trying to be more raw, too! He already lost a lot of weight in the last month or so from playing so much tennis. I really need to work out more. It’s been about 2 weeks. I just was kinda sick this week and last week, I guess I was too busy? Excuses. I have many- but in reality I just didn’t make it a priority. I am planning on getting my goals onto paper with processes and daily ritual to create some new habits. I need to take time this weekend to do that.
*** It will really help you. You do your best. Don’t worry about “letting me down” because you a hard worker and I know you dedicate yourself to our assignment. It will really help you to manage all your goals and implement ways to achieve them.
I know I really need that. I have so much going on!
- Spiritual stuff/training on Healing, prophetic word, baptism coming up,etc
- Ukulele practice, song writing, recording. (lessons with M & DK)
- Raw lifestyle transition
- Work
- Exercise
- Running the house: bills, ck bk, cleaning, shopping, etc.
- Relaxing!
I think I really need to write down my specific goals, and create rituals to reach my goals. Create new habits to get there. Good habits of exercise, work, ukulele, God stuff, etc. Time management is what I need! Help!
*** Just don’t worry. It will all get done in time. You are on a divine mission and you main assignment is to have FUN, relax and don’t hurry the process. You are trying to blossom by forcing it. You don’t need to worry. Yes, write it all down, create new habits, and read your goals daily. We will get there together.
Ok, thanks. So, I can’t believe that I emailed FS. She must think I am completely off my rocker by writing that I want to help you usher in God’s Kingdom! What a crazy girl I am. Hopefully we can work together. If not, it was not meant to be. Right? Right. It is just that I feel so alone and crazed. She of all people would understand that you work in wild ways. Thank you for showing me her video with LM. L is a beautiful soul also. Thank you for putting people like them into our world. They are full of light. Help me shine brighter also. Oh, it was weird that two people at Church said that they saw, actually saw- “Light” on me. What is that all about? I don’t mind, but what shall I do with the light? Help me use it better. Help me use your light for others. I would love to be able to do your will more fully on earth. Please make me whiter than the snow. Forgive my sins of the past weeks. I am sorry for cursing, I am sorry for being judging others. Forgive me for not loving others more fully. I am sorry for being so ungrateful and for being too busy to write you. I love you. Thank you for taking my sins away, Jesus. I love you and want to be clean again. Thank you!
I need to go grocery shopping and do a little work before I start my weekend. Which should be awesome! We have the Thursday night through Sunday conference on Healing …. Can’t wait! I’ll definitely have to fill you in here (so I don’t forget everything!) and so, I’ll see you later on… maybe tonight if I can. Love you!