I’m still half asleep. Yesterday I didn’t get to write and I forget what I wanted to talk with you about. I went with dad to his drum gig at a retirement center/nursing home. It was hot and I didn’t feel comfortable there. It was so sad to see all those people who are confused, in wheel chairs, and lonely. After I’d been there a while, a lady walked out our row of people and she smiled, and smacked me in the forehead! Then she tried to slap my face, laughed and got my neck slapped twice! I felt like saying “look lady, I’ll slap you right back- watch out!” But I didn’t. I just got irritated and then laughed. It was funny.
We had another class at VC called Discover that I went to. I felt weird all evening while I was there, too. I tried to share in our small group about meditating on the Our Father and how I felt lucky to have such a great dad here on earth and how I couldn’t imagine God as being so much more perfect and loving than my dad. It just came out wrong. What I wanted to say is that I feel so blessed because people that don’t have that kind of relationship with their dad could very likely have a harder time seeing that God is a good Father. They may push aside God because they don’t trust their own father here on earth—it may carry over to the same thinking about God, the Father. Of course, all this came out wrong in the group, but S was cool about being accepting and understanding. It didn’t seem to matter that much. I often say half of what’s on my mind and leave out the most important parts. Oh well. Se la vie. (Did I spell that right?) Ah, such is life.
This morning I’ll be going to meet up with JS and her group. I hope I’m not doing too much with Church. It is a good test to see if I truly can be more involved with church and still stay stable. I feel good and I feel like I’m healed and strong/stable. I am putting it to the test by being more involved. I would like to start volunteering at the hospitals by going with someone on the team to pray for the sick people that are from our church or ask for prayer. I am really looking forward to that. I think I’ll wait until maybe after Christmas. I want to take some classes on healing and the conference on healing is in November. Then with Christmas, I don’t know if it will be too much. I’ll just see how I feel and if I still feel stable, maybe in December I’ll be up to training with R and joining up with someone. I’ll decide in December. Yep, that’s what I’ll do.
I need to claim this healing. I receive the complete healing of my mind, God.Thank you for healing me of the chemical imbalance. Thank you for the freedom you have given me to do all the fun things I want to do without the worry of getting sick. I am sorry I’ve doubted your goodness. I want to forget I ever had an illness that limited me with talking with you and doing the things I want to do for you.
***Mar, I forgive you for doubting but mostly also, I forgive you for swearing and going off on the co-workers. I heard your prayer yesterday and I know it is hard to behave… you did the right thing in going to me in prayer asking for forgiveness. You asked to be made whiter than the fresh fallen snow and I forgave. I just thought I’d let you know that your loss of the feeling of being anointed (the warmth on your forehead) came back after you asked for forgiveness. Do you remember when it went away and when it came back?
Yes, it was a sure sign of my need to repent when the feeling went away and then your forgiveness when it returned. I also felt it in my hands. Thank you for giving me the signs. I don’t want to ever go without your love. Thank you for allowing me feel your love. Please help me not to sin. But more importantly, help me to ask for forgiveness quickly when I open my big mouth and swear or talk about others. Of course, please help me shut my mouth before I do something stupid like that, but thank you for your healing forgiveness.
Today we are going to look at a super cool contemporary house I found online. It is on Green by James. It looks like a party house. Has two private courtyards perfect for jam sessions and I’d like to build a fireplace our there. Of course, we can’t buy it now…. But who knows… maybe someday soon we’ll win some money and be in the position to sell our condo and find a bigger home we can enjoy. They are asking $189k. So, I don’t want a million dollar home, just something a little bigger so we aren’t using the dining room table as a studio for our music. It would be nice to have a table we could actually sit in for dinner and have friends over with out being embarrassed. Oh well. It is what it is. If you want this for us, it will happen in your time. I am “being expectantly waiting” and I heard from you that that is good. So, I don’t feel bad looking around at homes with that hope intact. Ahhhh. It’s been 4 years of hope… ahhhhh. I just believe. And that’s all you want, right?
*** That’s more than allright… that is what the bible says, doesn’t it? Keep knocking and keep asking. The door will be opened. You will get your answer.
God’s time is different from your time. You are doing the right thing. Keep on praying and hoping. But also keep on working, practicing, going to church, developing your healing prayer skills, etc. you are doing the right things. Just remember to have fun!
Ok. Will do. Please help this day ahead of me… to enjoy the fun that you’ve planned. Thanks God!!!