Wow, it’s only been 2 days and it feels like years since I sat down and talked with
you. I just got back from Church and you’ll never believe (well of course, you
were there) but you will never know how awesome it was for me to hear S
tell me that she sees huge sissors cutting off what looked like an ad on a paper
with the vertical tabs on the bottom of the page with all my symptoms listed
(anxiety, mania, paranoia, ocd, insomnia, etc) and the sissors are cutting them all
off the paper and that you love me she said “He would sell everything to find
the pearl (me) and to purchase me”… or something like that … I think in the
bible it actually is for meant for us to sell everything to buy the pearl of great
price (God) … I’ll have to look that one up cause, I’m not sure.
Shirley also
prayed for me to have the spirit of fear and darkness to leave and joy and
happiness to fill me. Man, I needed that prayer! Tomorrow I’ll be going to an
appointment for a prayer session at our “Healing Room”. I believe
you have healed me, but I feel that I need to do this also… for good measure and
to experience it to know for sure and to rid me of my disbelief that I am finally
free!!! Free to love you without getting sick!!! I can hardly believe it! It still has
not sunk in… I will be able to live my life and worship you, Love you, Sing about
you, pray to you, read about you and healing others… all without getting g
SICK!!!! I am so excited! It seems too good to be true. It seems like I’ll be
getting my usual over-done spirituality, get sick and have DB tell me I did it to
myself because I didn’t : “Manage the Illness” It is all my fault that I overdid it with
church, etc and that I made myself unbalanced and sick.
That is my story for the
past 24 years. I can’t read the bible (According to Dr. C) All the way to
not being able to go to church, not being able to read about how you heal. .. not
able to watch videos about spirituality… without getting very unstable, paranoid, manic… etc. … that WAS my story.
Sad story. My new story? I am FREE, HEALED, and in LOVE with God! Thank you,
Jesus for healing me. Please be with me tomorrow at the healing room
appointment, and let’s be done with this illness forever. Let me help others be
liberated from their diseases and bring your glory to earth in some small way
through my songs. Please give me a song to sing and help me sing it well. Give
me the grace and love for others, to do your will and to just be the best person I
can possibly be.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! I am so excited to be starting
my new life. I am so glad you told S that you are with me when I’m alone.
Not just alone… I’ve been living almost as if I was dead. My spirit at one time
was so lost… I had no one to turn to, no one I could talk to and no one that
would understand. Who can you talk to about mental illness without being
thought as crazy, or that it was my fault for over doing it spiritually/religiously. But
you, … you got me through it all. You loved me and carried me when I could not
walk any longer. It was your footsteps in the sand… all those years. And I thank
you.
** *Mar, you are in for a blast of a life… you will be so happy with your new found
freedom from lucy and his attack on your mind. You will be free from paranoia…
can you believe that? Yes, you will be free of mania, insomnia, free of anxiety…
can you wrap your brain around that for a change?!!! Remember also what
S said about the stage… It’s is getting ready! WE are not there yet, the
wood is still needing painting, needs to be assembled, etc… do you hear what she
says? Yes, you are not crazy… we do have awesome plans for you on stage!!! ;0)
Can you believe that ? I will give you songs. I will play through you. You are my
instrument. My instrument of peace for the hurting world! You are going to be
so loved by the world. People will be healed through your songs. DO NOT
worry about your safety. I have a legion of angels protecting you. You are well
protected, Mar, and I will not let anyone EVER hurt you, no they wouldn’t dare
mess with my girl! GOD will protect you, Himself!
Wow, that is powerful, Daddy! Thank you so much! I love you so MUCH! I need
you SO MUCH! I am so excited! Man, o man! So much is happening… it is so
awesome! Thank you, thank you, THANKYOU!!! Daddy, daddy, daddy… I feel
your love in my forehead. It’s been there for almost a month or so. It is like a
calming presence and warm love. I just wanted to tell you that I am so glad to be
able to feel you with me. Thank you for your presence with me in such a tangible
way. Please keep it “on” for me to center and be at peace knowing you are with
me… as close to me as my breath and as lovingly in my mind. I had to put up with
muck-mind for so long. A mind I could not trust. A mind that tortured me.
Thank you for your presence and healing which I am so grateful to feel you so
near. Right in front on my forehead I feel you. Thank you, Daddy!
*** …so, are you ready for the lotto or is this too much goodness for one awesome girl to handle?
;0)
Ha! You’re so funny. Ha, ha,… that’s a “knee-slapper”… oh, I guess I could handle
more goodness from you. Of Course. Of Course! I have been waiting since
October 2008 to win… I’ve played the lotto every week, as you know… and I’ve
been patient… well, trying to be patient. You keep telling me I’ll win. Man – how
many times I would have won if each time I was told I’d win… lol. I think , no , I
know… yes, daddy. I think I’m ready for it! It is not too much goodness… and I
am just glad you are having fun with me. No, I really am glad because that means:
It will definitely be in your divine timing and divine goodness to even think of me-
little alone send such a blessing as allowing me and DB to have time to enjoy
life and be free of the chains to our jobs. Time to just jump into your love. Just
knowing that you love me is enough. I only want to share your love with others.
I want to sing about you and have a blast on the big stage! Help me play your
songs. Give me the right lyrics and chords, melody, rhythm, band members, and
laughs! Give me Joy like I’ve never felt and help me to share it with everyone I
meet!
*** Enjoy your evening with your honey. Just rest and take it all in. You will have
wonderful prayer meeting at the healing room tomorrow. I am with you and no
harm will come to you or the other people. Only goodness and blessings for
everyone involved. P is going to be a good friend to you, Mar. He is a lot of
fun and will help you on your journey. Now, go rest. You have a big day ahead of
you tomorrow. I love you and you are going to be a wonderful entertainer/
healer/musician/composer/daughter/wife/friend and
healthy worshiper free of mental disease. “Do you receive it?!”
why yes, yessss I do! And the children sang out AMEN! And so it is!
*** Just remember that lucy is just a pesky little fly. No longer can he hurt you.
He is not allowed to make you sick. He is banned from your mind. You are
healthy mentally, spiritually and soon you ‘ll also be your God-Given healthy
normal weight and physically be in great shape to dance and sing for hours on
end without getting tired. Just try to only eat when your stomach growls. That
is my signal to you to go ahead and fuel up with healthy foods. Fill up on my love
when you want to eat when not physically hungry. You are no longer to feel
alone and saddened by your illness… because you are healed! Just rest in that
and feel my love for you. It is more than you can handle. More than you can
imagine, Mar. You are loved dearly, and you are very
special to me.