I am sorry I missed writing to you two days in a row… just know that I’ve been thinking about you and talking with you in my heart all along. But I know it is not as good as documenting our discussions so I can reread them and see how far you’ve brought me. So, Sunday I saw your wonderful movie “Father of Lights”… it was so exciting to hear you tell me that this is only the small glimmer of what’s to come! Thank you, God! How amazing it is and is going to be even better! What I need to talk with you about is the woman that interpreted my dream about the worms in my nightmare that I kept stomping on and how they split open and then got whole again where I could not get rid of them. The woman, D, prayed with me and interpreted it for me as something that keeps coming back. She showed me that my mental illness keeps coming up and I want to rid it from me. She and I talked awhile and I had a hard time letting her pray for me because I kept thinking (from my illness) that she was trying to curse me somehow… I was paranoid that she would make things worse for me. We decided and agreed that I need someone trained to pray for me. I am willing to do just about anything to be healed from this. It’s plagued me since I was 20 years old… living in T. SO, I plan on asking D if she and maybe one or two other people would be willing to pray for me- for freedom from this illness. I would like it to be kept quiet. I don’t want my name mentioned at a church service or other video taped class… or even for it to get around. I am really self-conscience over it and don’t want people to know about it. It is not something I want to get around. It is private business in my mind. I hope I can be relieved of this illness. And I would love to be able to be more active in the church… up until now I can’t because it makes me paranoid and sick when I am out of balance. I would love to jump right into every church event, I really can’t get enough… healing classes, and all the wonderful events, small groups, etc. please help me get better so I can learn to be a better person for you and for me. I want and need all the help I can get to become the person I want to be and I need a miracle to become the person you want me to be. Please help me, Lord!
Daddy, papacito- I love you and I trust that you know what you are doing. You know what I need and have lined up everything that needs to be done. I appreciate it and ask that you help me find your will and give me the strength to do your will. Help me be who you want me to be, Daddy. I feel so weak. I am so afraid that I’ll get sick again just by trying to get healed. Please give me strength the next couple weeks while people pray for me that I can be set free from mania, bi-polar and the schitzo-affective illness that I suffer from. Free me! I beg you to heal me, Daddy. I need your help!!! There is no good that can come from this illness anymore, daddy. If it had any good in it, which I believe it saved my life from those people in T, I believe that the use for this illness is over. I am no longer benefiting from this illness and in the name of Jesus’, set me free from it! I am strong and will get through this. You are my strength, Lord… I’m excited to see what you will do for me. I am thrilled to be in such a supportive and spirit-filled church. Use DL, and whoever you recommend, to help free me. But Lord, I ask that you bless them- the people that will pray for my deliverance from this illness…. Bless them more than they can imagine. Help me bless them.
*** Mar, you are in good hands. I will have a group of people pray for you that are filled with the Holy Spirit and I promise you that they will not be harmed. (I know you worry about them being hurt by your problem). There is nothing that the devil can do to them by them helping you. I myself, I God, will protect all who pray for you and I will personally come to them and bless them, their family along with you and your family. You will be delivered with healing and freedom from mental illness! How about that, Mar?
Oh my Lord, thank you so much!!! That is wonderful news… I can’t wait for it. Please help me during the prayers to be faith-filled, courageous, strong and grateful for all you are doing in my life and our church. Thank you for allowing me into your kingdom. Help me be a light that is not hidden. Make me shine bright for all to see your glory. Give me words to speak that are faithful, humble, grateful, good and holy. Help me to stop sinning by thoughts, words, or deeds that are not under your will. Please make me “righteous” in your sight and wash me clean of the dirt I’ve gotten into. Please make me whiter than the fresh snow, please forgive me for getting dirty, papa, I love you and want only to be holy for you and your will for me. I know in my own efforts, I am not clean and only through you and your grace, Jesus’ passion when he was on the cross… thank you, God, am I made whole!