2017-01-05 09:57pm
Today’s first day free of paranoia in the 3-week test
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Thank you, Saint Bendadict for helping me feel free of the perceived evil intentions from the enemy through my loved ones. Thank you, Mother Mary, for your protection and care. Thank you, Holy Spirit for your peace and loving presence. Thank you, Jesus, for saving me from my enemies, from my own faults and for saving my eternal future so I will one day be with you all of eternity. I love you, God, Holy Trinity- you are my everything.
Thank you that I felt only love today from my family. Thank you for your care and loving heart for me. Thank you for the hugs and love I was able to receive from my honey, DB- my support, my best friend, my love, my heart. Thank you that he is so patient and understanding patience with me. He is a saint. That is true. I am sorry for all the negative things I have said in the past years that were harshly spoken against him. I am truly grateful that you found him for my life journey companion. You did good- Father! I am so glad I found your will in who to choose for my husband. I could not dream of a better friend and love of my life. I would never trade him for anything or anyone ever in this life or the life to come. Pleases protect him. Fill him with your peace and bless our marriage. Thank you so much, Jesus, for the miracle of our love for each other.
Thank you, God, for all that you are doing for me each day as I recover and get stronger. Thank you for the gift of medicine that works so well for my system. I am forever glad that I have doctors that care for me and are supporting my mental stability. Please help me help someone that may be in need of an understanding friend. Send me someone that I can pay it forward and help. I would like to be a friend to someone in need to repay you for your kindness. Show me what I can do. Help me be a blessing to others and keep my in the palm of your hand so I never fall on my own strength. Without you, Dad, I can do nothing. Without you, Jesus, I am lost and all alone in my sin. Without you, Holy Spirit, I am a wreck- I need your comfort and care each breath I take. Without you, Holy Trinity, I cannot breathe or lift my heart to your loving hands and my life means nothing without you.
Help me share your amazing love to the people I meet. Help me not be so socially awkward and help me not appear to be a “Bit@h” as I feel I mistakenly come off as being. I don’t know how to relate to people for some reason. I have lost my social skills and feel lost as to what to say to people when I speak. My brain goes into anxiety mode and I walk away half the time… I don’t know why I am so socially challenged now days. Is this some kind of spirit or am I just out of sync now that I have so much on my mind. I have such huge dreams and imaginations of a fantasy life of ShamRock Studios, miracles in song, giving to the poor and feeding, sheltering the homeless… is there something I need to be doing? I ask my self this each day and feel so lost as to what could I possibly do? Today, I only can get my work done, pray and journal. I should be writing songs, a novel, praying for people, and so much more!
Should I go back to VU to pray for people? I would like to practice it more and I need to pray for my family more. Especially my dad’s health. Lord, Please send your healing love to my dad and heal his cold and also strengthen his heart… or better yet- Lord, Jesus- please give my dad a new healthy and strong heart. Let his doctor tell him he no longer needs to wear the Defibulator vest! A creative miracle is what I am praying for, Jesus. Mother Mary- please intercedes for me and take my prayers to the Father in your special manner that you offer gifts to Dad. Please make my meager attempt at prayers into a beautiful bouquet of flowers that are placed on a golden platter with Golden Delicious apples, grapes and some of his favorite cheese and crackers. Ask him if he would accept my prayers – especially for my dad’s health renewed- and answer my prayer. I am so sorry for my sins. Since my last confession, Lord, I have sworn twice… the word you dislike most. Please for give me. I will try to control my tongue and anger. Mother, Please help me be the person Jesus would like me to be. Jesus, make me clean and purify my heart and thoughts so that I can better speak with the Father and so he will hear my prayers. Make me whole. Wash me clean so I have nothing between my and My Daddy. Dad, you are my rock. I love you!
Please hear my prayers. Please equip and empower me to be all that you are calling me to be. Help me know what that looks like. Show me the way to your heart and help me sing of your love. I long to sing… but have not much talent. Give me ideas for songs. Show me the whole song and create through me. Use me as an instrument of your peace. Help me shine your light to the world. It’s dark down here. Come soon, Lord Jesus. Help me prepare your way so that people won’t miss out on your return. Heaven come down. Love, flow through my life, and make me your living enterprise. I want to be that person. I want to make my dreams a reality. Help me shake these dreams into reality. Holy Spirit, possess my heart and work your miracles through my life.
I offer you my yes to whatever you have in store for me. That is all I can do is offer my little life, my little confused brain and my big heart for your will be done. Don’t let me think so much of myself. Show me what I can do each day to walk closer with you. Your light is so bright; help me wipe away the fog in my eyes. I want to see you clearly. Come, Lord Jesus, fill my heart and make me anew. Show me the way to my destiny. Don’t let me miss my destiny, Jesus. Please help me deal with what you have given me. This cross is great. But your love is bigger and that’s good enough for me. Cheers!