Tag: Meeting Page 40 of 43

December 12, 2012

On December 12, 2012

Today new inspiration has taken me by surprise! I am excited to rewrite my old song: 5th Dimension. It will be a fun project and with great timing as today ushered in the new energies for Dec 21, 2012! I hope it turns out better than the original recording. It would be a blast to collaborate with DK and his band or some of them, if they would be interested. I am starting my new organizational processes going here in Notability. My journal is also at dropbox and on the mac. But I think I will just start it up here for now. It would be nice to have it all in one place. Here is best, I’ll be able to do this anywhere. The iPad is awesome and I need to use it more often!

Ok, so to catch up… I think I last wrote back a week or two ago. I had an interesting experience with an imagined banner that read: “Total Freedom” Man, I can’t wait for that prophetic word to come to pass. Meaning, not only my health and healing from Bi Polar (to be time tested w/o meds in Jan 2013), but also maybe a winning lotto? I was in a meeting at VC about a month ago and a complete stranger told me she caught me out of the corner of her eye and God told her to tell me that “He really likes how I am expectantly waiting!” Wow that could only mean one thing…

:0)

Also, I heard Him tell me that I will have “a Great Healing Ministry”. So, that was interesting to find out. I can’t even pray for people with confidence to heal a congested head (M had it and I tried to pray for her with not much ability – I sounded very confused, ineffective and I stumbled around.) I am going to practice more and I will get used to it. I am going to be training in Jan 2013 to be on the Care Ministry to pray for people in the hospitals. I am looking forward to that! That is basically one of my dreams. I’m trying to write songs, so I made files for organizing. I will practice the Uke in a set time of day – scheduled it into my calendar- for realz! I need to find more time in my day to get everything fit in. (Diet, exercise, uke, songwriting, reading, VC stuff, cleaning, laundry, shopping, DB-time, and oh yeah- WORK… the four letter word) Just kidding- I’m grateful to have work. It pays the bills so I can have a working iPad, Mac, iPhone… mortgage, car payments, groceries, gas, entertainment, and all the misc. stuff! Ok, now back to my songwriting book for dummies.

December 4, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On December 4, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

12/4/12 Wow, It’s been an awesome birthday weekend… so sad that it is over now. So, on my birthday, I “sealed in my soul” with a public commitment (baptism… again) and went to Holy Spirit night on Sunday evening after we dropped off G for C. I was happy that mom, dad and DB all came to celebrate with me for the baptism. It was so awesome. I don’t feel much different, except that I am glad that I made it public that I am a follower of Christ.

I really believe that I was asked by God to do it and since it was on my birthday, I couldn’t really say no. It was the best present I could have ever received! I am embarrassed by my size on the video-which I haven’t seen yet, but that’s ok. I am not where I’d liked to have been for it, but that’s ok. I truly believe that doing it was the best thing I could have done for my relationship with God. What was weird was when DL asked me if I will love Jesus the rest of my life… I was taken by surprise. I didn’t know that would be a question. My thoughts ran from…. Yes, of course – then I thought but I don’t act like it when sometimes I let Jesus down and if I love Jesus all my life, then I can’t be ashamed to go public and praise Jesus Christ without any fear of rejection. If I truly loved Jesus, then I would do whatever he asked no matter if it is out of my comfort zone of being mocked. All these thoughts ran through my head in an instant when she asked me that question.

In a moment delay, I decided that, YES, Of course I love Jesus and I will always LOVE Him! No matter what he asks me to do. With His help and courage, faith, strength, wisdom: it wouldn’t be me but through Christ than enables me to do His will. It would be ok for me to agree to all of the above fears because it was there by the deceiver! Of course, Of course I love Jesus and I will always love Jesus! All the doubts about me not being good enough to answer “yes” to that question was put there in a last ditch effort of Lucy to mess me up. I declare I love Jesus and will ALWAYS LOVE JESUS! NO matter WHAT! I am so glad I was baptized! It means to me that I reaffirm my parent’s intent of me to be a Christian (when they baptized me as a baby) and that I followed through with it all my life to now and forever – sealed in my heart in front of everyone!

With my soaked head to toes, I sealed it into my heart… in front of everyone. BEST. DAY. EVER!!! I am so glad my mom was there. I think she was happy for me even though at first she didn’t want to come. (for whatever reason) She changed her mind and I’m glad they all came! After the service, I went up to be prayed for and that was an awesome experience for me, too! My friend S was so awesome from the start when I met her in June. She was great and helped me with DL for the “immersing” into the water. People told me that the Gifts of the Holy Spirit are mine and I sang in tongues again that night at Holy Spirit Night. Someone told me that he saw on me that I will hear God’s Voice. (WOW! That is so cool!) I think I hear God but It is usually my Dad’s voice and that kinda is weird, but makes sense I guess.

God is really funny and helps me with sorting some of this stuff out. Only problem? I don’t really know for sure what is Me, and what is God – who’s talking here? Next Thursday is another Prophetic Encouragement class I’ll go to. Maybe they can help me understand. So, Sunday night at after H.S. night- here’s what I heard from D and her mom who prayed with me. They said: God loves you so much. (she kept stressing that over and over) He (lucy/devil) knows that if he can get you- he can get anyone. Now that threw me for a loop. If the devil thinks he can get anyone if he can get me- that means that I really can’t be douped by him. I know that I am God’s living enterprise and He can’t fail! So, sorry Lucy, but you’ve got some trouble with me because I WILL NOT GIVE INTO YOUR LIES. What I’ll do is simply take your lies and turn them around to truth for strengthening me! The opposite of a lie is complete truth. So, when you tell me and try to make me think things like: “you are disappointing God, I’m a disappointment for God” The opposite is true! GOD IS SO PROUD OF ME!

“You are afraid of being mocked- I’m afraid of what people think” NO I’m NOT! I am myself, I AM PROUD OF JESUS, I am Never going to care what anyone thinks- I will do God’s will, Live my life for Jesus and I truly don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about me, so you, Lucy can go straight to hell! Go to hell and stay there. I am not afraid- and that is the truth. When did I ever care what people thought of me? Never- to be honest, it can hurt, but I truly don’t care because I don’t value their opinion. I only care what God thinks of me. So-there!

Another good one he always tries to fool me with is: “you can’t sing” Well, I say I Can sing! Anything is possible in Jesus. So, I’ll ask Him for the ability to sing and I know he will provide the talent needed to do his will. I can sing and I know this because I’ve heard my voice sound good from time to time and God will help me out with that if I ask and I am asking right now! In Jesus’ name, I can sing, Devil,

You break your chains of fear of being laughed at, and belief of unworthiness, chains be broken of shyness, chains be broken of singing out of tune, Blessings by the Holy Spirit, I ask you to guide my mouth, tongue, throat, lungs, every breath, I give you my whole self to praise you without fear. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

So, every lie I hear, I turn it around in Jesus’ name and believe the truth which is the exact opposite of any lie. And I ask the Holy Spirit to make me aware and catch the lies that Lucy throws at me. Show me the truth at all times. Give me the gift of discerning spirits so I can see clearly when Lucy is trying to work in my life. I ask that you help me STOP in my tracks at the lie- turn it around and show me the truth that it is. Encouragement is a truth. Defeat, sad thoughts, fear, any negative emotion is caused by a lie from Lucy. So, show me the truth by turning it around for me.

Holy Spirit, I ask you to guard my mind. Please send me your angels to protect me. Make a fortress of light around me at all times. Thank you for your protection. Thank you for your guidance and thank you for all you have done for me! You are awesome and amazing! Thank you for the Church! Everyone there ROCKS! So I also was told that night (after H.S. Night) that I will have what I need, God is always with you. Blessings coming you way- In DIVINE TIME not my time. I received prayers for patience and prayers for healing my painful past of mental illness. I am so glad I am healed of that!!!! I am free to love. I am free to be me!!! I am free to worship without getting psychotic.

I am so glad for my freedom from Bi Polar illness, freedom from all mental disabilities!!! D’s mom also told me that my JOY is RETURNING! She saw me as a little girl skipping! That’s great because I remember being carefree skipping around. I love that she said that! I love letting it go and just skipping around! Well, I need to write a song as an assignment for next week. Matt is such a great teacher- We went over my lesson time a whole hour and I am so lucky to have such a laid-back and giving teacher. I think he liked the gift of the Uke book by Jummin’ Jim (365 daily songs for ukulele) I am excited to write a new one. I’ll be using the 32 bar/jazz model **Write about your baptism! Ok, that will be fun. A little embarrassing, but fun. Will you help me make it?

**Sure. Sing something like: It’s Sunday morning, my birthday in december. Not a normal birthday, but the best one yet. Light shone on me I’ll always remember. Something like that or I’ll Always Remember It was a warm and sunny Sunday My Birthday this December Light shone on me I’ll always remember Not a normal day I’ll shout it out loud The best one yet Not ashamed- I’m proud Dunked into the water Huge smile on my face Your love is so good Sin’s gone without a trace Couldn’t live without you Don’t know where I’d be now Without your guiding hand My life is yours I vow

Ok, Cool – I’ll go work on it! Thanks! I love you, Nite.

November 28, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On November 28, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I’ve been lax in writing, but let me say, you are on my mind. I am hoping I haven’t pissed you off by not keeping up with all the things I feel I should do for our assigned schedule. I only have so much energy and time. I get weary just thinking about it all. But it’s good. I said yes to it and it is very exciting. I love that I have a purpose and that you are behind it all. It was your request and I am so glad you asked me to help out. I feel that even writing this may be or certainly is- crazy. I don’t know how much longer I can last on my crazy thoughts. Yes, I am ready for the “next step” as P’s brother said. I am hoping that word came from you. I think you do speak through others, especially people that are prophetically trained. If this is all true and really happening I am so glad! The other promises will also be occurring, that I am sure. So, if we get onto the next level- a win tonight would bring in some 550 million!!! And, then we can focus on the rest of the plan… I’m sure I have no idea how awesome it is going to be! Giving it away and making music with some incredible musicians, healing people, bringing your miracles to commonality from your golden age goodness… I can not wait! I love you so much, and I am glad you picked me. I hope I’m not letting you down too much. I try and I try, but I don’t have the energy sometimes. I am burnt out with my job, and I am so excited to work FOR YOU FULL TIME! I can’t wait, I am so excited, I love you! And yes, I will be so surprised if I ever finally do win the lotto. I’ll be so relieved that I have not been crazy to believe I’d win the lotto all these years.

Oh, I should just stop while I’m ahead and tell you I love you and whatever you have planned for me, if it is your will, I am glad for it. I may be way off on the lotto winning idea, but I think you have been telling me that it is a big part of your plan… so, Ok. If you say so…. I guess I could handle 550 million beans! :0) you are too good to me. You truly are. I love you. Wish me your luck and thank you for your love!

November 23, 2012

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On November 23, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I was able to control my eating yesterday (Thanksgiving). I logged everything and it turned out that I still was in the losing part of my chart with my new app for logging. I love the new log app because it charts it great, is easy to use, and analyzes your day with helpful tips on which foods were the worst and what you did well. (Like exercise, low sodium, low fat, low cholesterol, etc.) I see someone out with a hood, gloves, long pants, and a jacket walking by the lake. I think once I’m done here, I’ll go for my run! She just inspired me. I think it’s about only 35 degrees but it is also super windy. I think I’ll just go for a short 2 mile run. Yesterday I did 5k plus a little extra. I felt sick during it, so I walked maybe .5 mile of it. I am excited to go back to the Rec. Ctr. They have a lot of classes at different times, so I should be able to make it often.

We have G with us for 2 weeks! YAY! She is so good. Not one accident yet, and she is such a snuggle- honey. I got her an adorable tee shirt that says “Reindeer in Training” – it is red with white fluffy trim on the front legs and bottom of the tee. She loves it. I also got her a red sweater with roses on it, but I haven’t put it on her yet. It was so nice of C to let us babysit. We miss her when she isn’t around- and we only usually have her once a year or so. C is on vacation in Florida- so we get our sweet puppy during that. I still feel guilty for giving her up for adoption in 2006. (I was sick, and I was not able to take care of her, or go for walks, etc.) I now take her for walks about every 4 hours. She loves it. I think I’ll take her for a walk in a minute.

She actually may not want to go now that it cooled off so much today – and windy. Yesterday it was in the 60’s and today it’s low in the 30’s… Yikes! I don’t know if I want to go for the run, but I’ll use my new hood I got for the winter runs. I paid for it, so I better use it! All talk and no action- Mar!!!

Can’t believe the Powerball tonight is all the way up to something like 325 Million beans! I would love to be able to share it with the hurting. How fun would that be?!!!

***You will have fun, believe me! Awesome!

Thank you, Daddy! But you know I’ll still be surprised! Don’t worry about that! I talk big, like “I know I’ll win” but, I don’t take it as complete truth since I’ve never actually seen it happen. I hope and I pray and I want to also behave in a respectful way. I don’t take anything for granted, especially a win of the power ball jackpot… Thank you so much for all you’ve given me. I am content right now and I love you! I love my life, and I only want to be who you want me to be. I would like to see my path coincide with your will for me. Please help me think as you would like, please help me act how you enjoy, please help me make you proud of me. I want to be your #1 daughter, and I know I have a long way to go. I love you, and I know I let you down sometimes. I am sorry. Please forgive me of my temper, impatience, un-compassionate, and sometimes- rude behavior. Help me be more appreciative. I will go run now.

*** You rock, Mar. I luvz you!

November 15, 2012

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On November 15, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Hi there, God! I’m just chugging along.. getting burnt out with the calling gig. I don’t understand what’s going on here. I think that my thinking I’m going to win the lottery has taken a toll on my job. I am painfully making each call with the rude people telling me to basically go you know what yourself. I am really struggling to do this. Maybe I should change gears in 2013? I don’t know. I saw the pot is all the way up to 214 Million. I would have so much fun with that, giving it away and quitting our day jobs! I can’t imagine how much fun that would be. I’d love to give away most of it. I’m tired. Haven’t worked out, skipping the boot camp… I feel like a slug. I need to make it a priority again: exercising regularly and logging my food/exercise.

Baptism is coming up. I have the class on it this Sunday and then the baptism is on my birthday… I think that it will be a relief to get that done. I feel like I will be nervous and I don’t know what I’ll say when they put the microphone in front of me before my dunk… it’s going to be videotaped, too. I’m not so sure about this. Oh well, it’s gotta be done, right? Discover meetings are winding down. I think we have 2 more classes after tonight. Thank you for my healing of the mental illness, I am so happy that I’m able to do all this Church stuff and the freedom is amazing. I am still a little nervous that I’ll get sick, but you are proving to me each day that I’m healthy and that it is really true. I am truly healed and free! That is amazing, the feeling- it’s amazing! Thank you!

So, I’m trying to get some songs together to play for the nursing homes. This afternoon I’ll talk with E to see if we can practice sometime before. I’ll try to get ready by mid December. To play before Christmas would be good. I love my Fishman amplifier… it’s nice and lightweight and great for acoustic ukulele playing… I am forcing myself to do this because it will be good experience to play in front of people. (Even if they are alzheimers patients… they won’t remember how bad I was! lol) Help me with this, please. Also thank you for your help with writing songs. It was a blast to create, sorry I was out of tune with the singing… I’d like to write more songs before the end of the year. DK will help me out with it.

I’m looking forward to getting Logic Pro – it will make writing songs easier… easier to work with on the computer than the ipad. I need to try a little harder in all the above areas: weight, exercise, diet, ukulele, work, etc.etc… The weight will eventually come off. I am sure. I just need to keep plugging along.

*** You are right where you need to be. All is well and everything is unfolding as it should. Don’t worry- have fun! (Do I sound like a broken record?) Don’t worry, Mar. You are doing great. I love you.

Somewhere in heaven there is a place waiting for you. He made a promise, gave every drop of blood. .. died on the cross so we’d be free. Somewhere in heaven there is a place waiting …waiting for you and me. He made a promise, gave every drop of blood, and died on the cross so we’d be free. (Santana’s song) love it! Carlos Santana Rocks! Thank you for giving me your sweet freedom! I love you!

November 13, 2012

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On November 13, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Ok, so it’s been almost a full week since I wrote. I am supposed to rededicate my journaling for the next 2 weeks per our small group (the Prophetic Encouragement group) I don’t know why I stopped writing, I only know that I feel lost with out it. I am feeling sad and to be honest, alone. I don’t feel your warmth, tingly touch on my forehead and hands and It makes me wonder if I messed up big time…. I know I’ve been impatient, rude, mean, swearing from time to time, and basically not a very good resemblance of you, Jesus. Help me be more like you. Please forgive me for my wrongs- my sins… my bad behavior. I think I just feel like you should be mad at me. I’ve been proud, conceited and unkind. Yes, you should be let down because of my behavior. You may wonder why you even put up with me at all. You may wonder why you love me so much. I know I am wondering that myself. Hummmm. What say you?

*** Oh, Mar. You still don’t get it, do you? You can not earn my love. You can not ever be good enough on your own. I died for you. I died so that you don’t need to feel ashamed. I carried your shame on the cross. You are righteous in my blood. My death on the cross actually cleared multitudes of sins for you and every person who ever asks for me to carry their sin to forgiveness. Every person who ever lived on Earth or ever will live – I died for all. I’m not picky. Anyone. I came for anyone and everyone. God wants you to not feel condemned. You asked for forgiveness when you felt sad, alone, and dirty. In your asking, you are forgiven. Accept it. Please accept it and live in my love. Love others. Be careful to not think you could ever do anything on your own to earn God’s love. God loves you, each of you, because you’re my kids. You’re my sister, and friend. Mar, please don’t sit in your sin… dust yourself off in my love, and shake off the dirt. I love you. As for your forehead, and hands- if you soak up my holy spirit, in time with Him, if you focus on love, you will feel it again. You will feel it anytime you think of God and His great love for you. Close your eyes and think on us, feel us – feel our love on your forehead and hands. Try it. Try it now.

I feel you. Thank you! I feel it on my hands especially and also somewhat on my forehead. What does it mean?

*** It is my spirit which will be for the masses. Your hands will spread my love through your music and when you pray for others with your hands outstretched or on their shoulder… you (and many others) have the ability to spread my healing spirit out into the world. You will one day, when the time is right, you will just lay your hands on a hospital, and all the patients inside (and any sick workers there) will be instantly healed. You’ll put the hospitals out of business, but that’s ok. It’s in the order of things to come when MY Kingdom comes. Sickness has no hold on your town. … also then for the world as cities darkness’ fall like dominoes so that one after another, each city will belong to me, (GOD). It will start with your town and You will help be the catalyst for the other cities to follow. Signs and miracles will be the norm. People will have food, shelter, clothes, health, anything they need or desire – if it is my will, they will have it. And believe me when I say, “I want that, I want that for everyone!” It is almost my time. Almost time for my Mighty and Holy Kingdom to come onto Earth. Are you glad you get to start up the party?

Oh, my G O D, yes! I don’t feel worthy or able in my weaknesses and no talent, to do this job. I think you may have got the wrong gal? I am willing. I guess that is all you needed was someone who is willing to appear crazy. Well, yep, I’m certified in that! So, no – I don’t care what people think. (Well, sometimes I do.) I just want to make you proud of me. I’d like to think I’m willing and able but know that it is all you. You will have to work through me and I trust that you will. I remember what you said to me:

“Mar, you are my living enterprise, and God can NOT fail!”

Well, I cling to that promise and will remember that . It is YOU who will accomplish everything. I just want to be willing to follow. Please help me follow. Please give me the courage, strength, mind, and heart for your assignments. I am trying to figure out what you want me to do each day. I just take it day by day because when I make my plans, I know you are laughing!!! I can hear you snickering right now! You are really getting a kick out of this, I can tell. Hopefully I’m doing an o.k. job. I am trying to not get stressed out over it. I had that horrible melt down a few days ago. I am sorry that I swore and I’m sorry for feeling so defeated. The fire darts that Lucy fired into my mind seemed to cause a melt down but I know it was not from you and that you got me through it pretty quickly. I do feel badly for letting Lucy win even that small battle. I am ready and roaring to go! Send me!!!! I’ll go!

*** Ok, you are ready, I can tell… you are doing so well, Mar. You are my golden boot warrior in this game of Love. You are going to win this game… “LOVE WINS!” (Will be the headlines) You are a key player in this game. And yes, it is a game. Don’t get too serious, that is a downfall to you and our assignment. Remember, nothing is too hard or impossible to me. God always wins in the end. I’m getting tired of Lucy though and it’s time for my team to win, to live, to love, to rule! Lucy’s time is almost up. Don’t worry about anything. Don’t worry about money. Don’t worry about time or not enough time. I am the author of Life, I am the controller of Time. If you need time, you will have it. If you need funds, you will have it. If you ask in Jesus’ name, you will have it if it is my will. Your life is in the palm of my hand and I will not let you fall. You are right where I want you to be.

Everything is unfolding just as it should, so have fun. Don’t stress over it. If you have fun, we win. It’s as simple as that. If you get too upset over this game, we may have to take a time out to regroup, but just know that there is no way that I won’t have my kids back. . … I know the outcome. I see it all at once. I know we will win because I know everything. So really- come on- believe me. I will not leave you alone. I am with you in all things. I will not let you fail. I thank you for your willingness. You are becoming everything we decided prior to your birth. You know you can do this. I have seen the future, and you better put on your shades, because the future is so bright… you’re gonna’ need shades!

I can ‘t wait to get to the party! I want to have it all done yesterday. I am sorry for my impatience. Please give me patience, love and kindness, compassion, strength, and courage for the ride. I love your ways. You make all things right. You are awesome. I love you! Help me see the ways you help me. You healed my disease, you strengthened my knees and made them new, you love me so much, you talk to me and give me your spirit. I thank you for your kindness to me. I don’t deserve it. Thank you for adopting me.

*** I didn’t adopt you- you are my daughter.

What? Are you sure?

*** Yes. Don’t ask.

Ok. I don’t understand and I don’t think I ever could. I just thank you and ask you to forgive me for my ungratefulness. I just can’t wrap my brain around that. That would mean that somehow, I am your daughter in a more real way? How is that possible?

*** don’t ask. You are special, though. Just know how much I love you. You and DB both. You are both my kids. I watch out for my kids and no one will mess with you. They know better than that. I also have St. Michael, the Arch Angel and a host of other angels watching out for you. You are well protected, but don’t do anything stupid, like walk in front of a car… Don’t test it. You have a responsibility for it, also. But yes – you are my daughter.

Ok, if you say so. I don’t really understand. That’s ok. I am just glad you aren’t mad at me for swearing like a sailor, and slamming things around in my silly anger… being unloving, impatient and ungrateful… I am a mess. I think If I would keep the journal going daily, I’d be in a much better situation. Right?

*** you got it, Mar. Even if it is for a short time – say 5 or 10 minutes, you will get so much out of it. Don’t go for days in sin. Come to me and ask me to help you restore yourself to me. I love you and when you sit in sin, you are not a good vessel for my spirit. I need a pure spirit to work with and all you need to do is come here at these pages and ask me to restore you to me. I am asking you to please use my forgiveness capabilities, and use them for your own good and for the good of the mission. You WILL slay the dragon. I have not doubts. You are the one for me. I will use you, I will enable you. I will help you in every way possible. I only ask 2 things: First, Come to Jesus for forgiveness when you make mistakes/sin. I need you to come here daily to chat. OK? And secondly, have fun. Simple? Yes, it is simple. I’ll do the heavy lifting,-you do the fun. Ok?

Yep! I can do that! I think I really make things more difficult than they need to be. I always do that. I am sorry. Please help me to see the fun in everything. To relax. To love. To be obedient to journal and spend time with you. I love you. Thank you for making me righteous in your eyes. Thank you for forgiving me of everything. Even for forgiving me for the things I don’t even remember doing. Thank you. I love you.

Oh say, Could you give me some dreams tonight that are FUN and dreams with a loving message for my weary soul… I need some laughter in my soul. Thx! I love you. Night.

November 7, 2012

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On November 7, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I know it’s been a week since I wrote last. I am so sorry. Yesterday, to make a short story shorter- I had a meltdown with stress in all I feel I need to get done. I mean, I really cried out to you, God. You answered with your unmistakable peace. Thank you! I am sorry for swearing, too. Thank you for understanding.

*** Don’t worry; I know your heart. You only want to do a good job with your assignment and you feel overwhelmed. I completely understand. Don’t worry about getting EVERYTHING done overnight. Time is under my control and divine order for all. You do NOT need to worry about getting it all done under some sort of made up deadline. You are my living enterprise and remember- I cannot fail!!! So, just so you know, it’s all in my hands. I only need a willing person to be my ambassador (or instrument) and you agreed. Just know that you cannot fail as long as you are open and wiling to be my co-creator and work on earth for me. You are taking your assignment seriously and because of that it will work. But, it will work only if you don’t get so serious and stressed. OK? Have fun and having fun with this is a main part of you assignment.

:0)

I see you smiling. I know- it seems too easy. You don’t need to try so hard. I love you and I am taking complete care of you. I am in control of all things…

I know, and I feel it. I always made things harder than I need to and that has lifetime been my issue. I’m always so serious and too hard at work in the fun things. Thank you, I needed to hear that. Below are some notes I took down over the past week on my phone. I emailed them to me and here I’ll paste to you: Heal conference notes:

Notes: Healing from food addiction- believed in my healing from that addiction stood up to claim it when called out addictions. Sat down to claim it without a sign. Sat down and the spirit sweetly rocked me gently filling me with gentle calm. Got home and still felt full of spirit calm light tingling all over my body. ordered the RC and RD’s cd of entire conference. God will do this (our ministry). I stepped into it full faith asking for courage to follow through. God took it to another level this weekend and I still said yes! Thank you God for filling me with courage and hope, faith and love. I can’t believe that over 300 people were healed this weekend. It was amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you God!!!! Thank you for my new friend R. Please heal him in 3 weeks like he was told- help me have faith and boldness to pray a prayer of complete healing and get him out of wheelchair and up running the marathon next spring with me. Let him be my new running partner! Give him a new mouth and throat so he can speak! Thank you for his sweet soul he is so joyful and he is an amazing child of God. Thank you for all my new friends- so many I need a cheat sheet to remember all their names. I think I’ve met probably over 50 new people in the last month… God, you are so kind to me. You are really making up for all the lonely years. I finally came home. Thank you! I love you.

I’m still believing for the lotto. For Time to work for the Family Business of Love and help you save souls, for freedom to do this, & for FUN!

Please guide President Obama with his next 4 years. Help us navigate through our worldly troubles. (many) In your highest good, we will all thrive. Please come with your highest good, come to Earth in a huge way. Take over the health care industry through your (Jesus’) healing touch. May all diseases, sicknesses, and poverty soon become a thing of the past old world. Come. Come Holy Spirit. Come and be our King. Come and rule the earth. Your divine goodness is what we need and It WILL be a great party under your new Son. No more sickness, pain or sorrow! Give us all a new home under you and your awesome goodness. I adore you, Jesus.

November 1, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On November 1, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Today is the day after Halloween and I realized I haven’t written in 5 days! I am sorry. It is bad when you are too “busy” to talk with God. I do talk with you daily, in my thoughts but it is good for me to write it all down so I can think “out loud” and get your responses here- even if they may just be my own thoughts twisted somehow into thinking they are from you. That’s ok, if I’m wrong – it’s just for me anyways. No harm done.

*** Mar, some of these words are from you, but the important parts are from me. You have a lot to deal with. Your head is swimming and needs rest and clarity. You find that here on the morning pages.

Yes, and I love that I get to hear from you. I’m glad you don’t mind. So, yesterday was Halloween- the dreaded holiday of darkness. I hate Halloween. M & J made it great, though. We were able to see 23 trick or treat kids – and they were really cute. I just have a hard time with the scary costumes. Not because it actually scares me- it is more of a sadness to see people glorifying gore, blood, knifes through their head, or living dead zombies, etc. Glorifying the darkness that rules this world. I also have experienced “junk in-junk out” as in when I see and put those ugly pictures into my head, they come out when I am ill through paranoia, hallucinations, etc. I just don’t want that in my system. That’s also why I don’t watch horror movies, either. But in my past Halloweens, yep- you got it… I dressed up as a vampire- all including blood, teeth, etc.

So what have we missed here in the last 5 days? I went to the Healing 101 class and also the Prophetic Knowledge class. Both were incredible. In the healing class we also did an exercise in prophetic knowledge. I was amazed at how accurate I was able to speak. I think it was just coincidence, though. I don’t know. One of the guys told me that he saw Hummingbirds sipping sweet nutrition (spiritual nutrition?) from me. ????? I don’t understand that. He also said he saw a gifts! I like gifts! I also had a word from R that “God wants to bless my path” which he confirmed for me the next day when I saw him. A lot of other stuff happened but of course, when I wait 5 days- I have forgotten all of it! That should be my lesson! Write it down, or you’ll forget it!

*** I did tell R that I want to bless your path and I also showed P’s Brother the gifts I have for you. You will be surprised! I can’t wait to see your face when you get it!

Daddy, You are so mean…. ;0)

…teasing me like that!!!! Ha, I can’t wait! You bless me every day with tons of gifts! Thank you for all of it! Thank you for the beautiful lake with geese and ducks out my window. It makes working so much more enjoyable with such a fantastic view. Thank you for my sweetheart, DB, my family and friends. Thank you that we have power, heat, water, bathrooms, all without a flood like they are having in the East. I pray to you for them, Lord. Please help them all get through it. For the people who have died because of the storm, I pray that you take good care of them now. And for their families, that you will comfort them. Thank you so much for all that I have- it doesn’t seem worth even saying because it is impossible to put to words gratitude. All I can do is love others for you. That is how I would like to show my gratitude to you. Help me be your eyes, hands, feet and heart for your family here on earth. They are my family also and I want to be a better sister for them. Please help me understand deeply my role as their sister. Put it onto my heart to love and care more for your children. Put aside any of my thoughts that are less than honorable and loving. In Jesus’ name, I pray.

*** Mar, when you pray like that, you will always receive. You will experience more love for others. (Because you asked me to give that to you- I shall)

Great! thank you! So, this past Saturday I started the fresh, live, living raw food “diet” and am really enjoying it. Today is day 6. I weighed myself after 3 full days on it and lost 4 pounds. Mostly water, I’m sure, but I’ll take it! Thank you that DB is open to it and is even trying to be more raw, too! He already lost a lot of weight in the last month or so from playing so much tennis. I really need to work out more. It’s been about 2 weeks. I just was kinda sick this week and last week, I guess I was too busy? Excuses. I have many- but in reality I just didn’t make it a priority. I am planning on getting my goals onto paper with processes and daily ritual to create some new habits. I need to take time this weekend to do that.

*** It will really help you. You do your best. Don’t worry about “letting me down” because you a hard worker and I know you dedicate yourself to our assignment. It will really help you to manage all your goals and implement ways to achieve them.

I know I really need that. I have so much going on!

Spiritual stuff/training on Healing, prophetic word, baptism coming up,etc
Ukulele practice, song writing, recording. (lessons with M & DK)
Raw lifestyle transition
Work
Exercise
Running the house: bills, ck bk, cleaning, shopping, etc.
Relaxing!

I think I really need to write down my specific goals, and create rituals to reach my goals. Create new habits to get there. Good habits of exercise, work, ukulele, God stuff, etc. Time management is what I need! Help!

*** Just don’t worry. It will all get done in time. You are on a divine mission and you main assignment is to have FUN, relax and don’t hurry the process. You are trying to blossom by forcing it. You don’t need to worry. Yes, write it all down, create new habits, and read your goals daily. We will get there together.

Ok, thanks. So, I can’t believe that I emailed FS. She must think I am completely off my rocker by writing that I want to help you usher in God’s Kingdom! What a crazy girl I am. Hopefully we can work together. If not, it was not meant to be. Right? Right. It is just that I feel so alone and crazed. She of all people would understand that you work in wild ways. Thank you for showing me her video with LM. L is a beautiful soul also. Thank you for putting people like them into our world. They are full of light. Help me shine brighter also. Oh, it was weird that two people at Church said that they saw, actually saw- “Light” on me. What is that all about? I don’t mind, but what shall I do with the light? Help me use it better. Help me use your light for others. I would love to be able to do your will more fully on earth. Please make me whiter than the snow. Forgive my sins of the past weeks. I am sorry for cursing, I am sorry for being judging others. Forgive me for not loving others more fully. I am sorry for being so ungrateful and for being too busy to write you. I love you. Thank you for taking my sins away, Jesus. I love you and want to be clean again. Thank you!

I need to go grocery shopping and do a little work before I start my weekend. Which should be awesome! We have the Thursday night through Sunday conference on Healing …. Can’t wait! I’ll definitely have to fill you in here (so I don’t forget everything!) and so, I’ll see you later on… maybe tonight if I can. Love you!

October 27, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On October 27, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I know it’s been a few days. I’ve been feeling very much out of shape and have been binging on sugar stuff. So, DB and I decided to do a raw diet for 30 days starting today. I think I’ll just try to do it until my birthday (Dec 2nd)which will total 36 days. I am pretty sure I can do it. It will be tough, though! I also am pretty sure I’m going to go ahead and get baptized at VC on Dec 2nd (my birthday). They offer baptisms twice a year and it just “happens” to be on my birthday!

At first when I came to VC, I thought I’d not get baptized but that it is a possible option. Now, I think I want to. I don’t remember my baptism as a baby and I want to do it now because I am the one making the choice. If it weren’t on my birthday, I think I would still be undecided, but I’m taking it as a sign that it is right and that God would be happy if I did it. So, It would be nice to lose some weight before then, too!

*** Yes, I am glad you decided to go ahead and do it, you are making me very happy. I know it takes courage and that you don’t like to be in the spotlight or be videotaped. Don’t worry about that. I know you want to lose weight and I will help you with your raw food weight loss journey. You will love it and feel so great! Your energy will skyrocket and your skin will be beautiful – like when you were 16!

Awesome, thanks for offering to help me out with it. I went to the College kid’s party/worship at VC on Thursday. It was great. Wish I could have stayed until the end, but DB was picking me up at 9:30 and it was not over until 11. We are thinking about getting a scooter so I can use the car without having to arrange rides w/ sharing the car. It doesn’t make sense to get a second car but maybe a scooter? I’ve in the past said, No – because it is way too dangerous. Dad has been encouraging me to let DB get a scooter. Dad and C both have one. So, I told DB if he wants to get one, he can. I think he is unsure because it’ll be getting cold soon. Maybe in the Spring, then. I don’t want anything to happen to him, but I think he would be a good driver. I worry mainly that he would get somewhere and then it rains/freezes and then that it would be especially dangerous. I don’t know. What do you say, daddy?

*** He will be fine. If he wants to get one, go ahead. I’ll protect him and give him good judgment on when not to ride it and he will get a helmet. He’ll love it. It will bring much freedom for you and for him. He won’t need to drive you everywhere.

… yes, that would be great to have freedom to get around when I need to. You say that he’ll be fine, so Yes, I’ll leave it up to him to decide. Thanks. I have a question for you… Why do I not have the ability to put a picture in my mind and imagine things? Why am I wired differently? I can’t smell, imagine, taste… and I have suffered mental illness. So, why? What is the purpose? I have only been able to imagine something twice. Really. It only happened once the second was real faint. It was about 2 or 3 weeks ago and when I closed my eyes, I saw a crane flying across my mind’s eye. I guess that was my first imagination ever. Should I talk to a doctor or what? The second was a real faint imagination of a field with Cat’s tails – it was the vision I saw at Holy Spirit Day. (The vision was for R)

***ok, Mar- here’s the deal. You have not imagined anything before now because I want to give you pictures where you will know that they are only from me. I will talk with you through pictures in your mind. Try it. Close your eyes and I will right now show you something. Ok?

I closed my eyes for a few minutes. Nothing. I saw nothing. I tried to envision a crane and then I tried to envision a butterfly.

*** That is my point. I want to give you a picture. Don’t try to imagine anything. Let me do the picture for you. Try again.

Nothing. I guess you proved to me that I can’t put pictures in my mind and I trust that you will show me what you want to show me when you need to show me. Should I try it again?

***No, I just wanted to show you that for sure, when you see something, it will be from me and not you. Ok? Look for a vision sometime this week. I’ll show you a beautiful picture. You will love it!

Ok, thanks! I’ll “look” forward to it! So, I’ve been reading about astral projection. Could you tell me if you want to take me some place through leaving my body? I’m a little afraid that it will make me sick if I try it. Something like I may have a problem of staying in my body… and pop out when I don’t want to…. Sounds crazy right there, but I think a real possibility. I would love to learn skills and visit heaven or go into the past or future. I believe it is possible. A real possibility. I’d love to try it. Would you be my guide?

*** How about it we wait until next summer. That way, if you are stable until summer, then we can go down on your medicine. After we go down and then eventually go off it- then we can talk to Dr. W about it. Baby steps. There is plenty of time. You don’t need to worry about running out of time. I know you want to try it. I’ll just say that if it happens naturally with out your trying to do it, then it will be ok. I will be with you. Don’t force it. If it comes naturally, then you will be protected on your trip. You won’t have a problem of popping out when you don’t want to. I myself will take you on historical tours of heaven!

Ok, so, I may be in for a surprise trip somewhere?!!! That’s sounds great. I am looking forward to seeing your visions, too. And I am excited about “new Horizons”. … is that what you were talking about last week at the prophetic word appointment I had… you mentioned “New Horizons”… that should be a great experience. You are ready to take me! Wow! How fun is that?!!

*** Just trust in me. I will take care of you. I love you.

Love you, too!!! Thank you

October 24, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On October 24, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Hi there! So what have we missed? Humm… last time I wrote here it was Sunday and now it is already Wednesday! Where has the time gone? Well, I had a lesson with M yesterday…. It was embarrassing to play my song which I wrote in GarageBand called “Made it Thru”. I need to redo the ukulele and vocal tracks. Thing is, I don’t know how to create a melody in tune! DB said he would help me with it this weekend. What I need to do it play the melody on Uke and then sing along. All I did is write the lyrics real quick and then went right to a recording! I didn’t even practice or think through the melody! So, of course it is going to be awful.

Oh well, I tried and only have up from here. Can’t really do worse, right? I just have to remember it is all just fun and that God will use me for healing and bringing people to His Kingdom, so I really shouldn’t worry. God will make it happen for me. I just need to work the plan… exercise, eat healthfully, practice, go to God and pray about everything. He will have his way with it, and I can trust God and His plan. I am open to it and am having a blast doing it all! I truly don’t care what other people think, I just know I have to be myself and with that comes somewhat of an embarrassment, but Truly, I don not care. I only care what God thinks of me, and He loves my boldness and trust. Right God?

*** You are so right. You are going to be having the life of envy from all people. You are going to be my child of honor. Don’t shake your head… You are walking in holiness and righteousness through Jesus’ blood and you are going to be equipped for all things I call you to do. You just continue to walk in faith and love. You will be so happy you said “yes!” to me. I have a great plan for you and for which will be the envy of the world. It will be like a domino where once your town is on fire for God, other cities will be empowered to follow. Mar, it truly will spread across the Earth! Healing will become common knowledge. People will seek Me and my Kingdom of Love, they will find it! Miracles will be happening in droves. Food for the hungry will appear to them, along with all ailments leaving the earth as Earth becomes back into my rule. The garden will appear and death will be no longer…. Because of what Jesus did and the fact that you said “Yes” to me, Jeuus and the Holy Spirit to work in you, for all the people in the world to come to know that I am real. You play a key role in this plan…

Mar, don’t shake your head that it isn’t true! You are my precious little humble daughter, still, aren’t you? I know you hate to write all this down, and that is the devil trying to tell you that you are not all that I say. You don’t need to listen to those lies. You are precious and you are going to help the world come into my Kingdom and our (Jesus’ and the Happy Spirit’s) plan of salvation for everyone. You are inviting into our garden the lost sheep – which will bring all people from all time into heaven/my presence. I need all my children with me and no devil or Lucy is going to come between Me and my kids! You are my daughter that passed all the tests. You said yes so many times. No, you’re not perfect, I know (I hear you) but you ask for forgiveness and Jesus paid already the price for all your sins and shortcomings… along with the entire population of earth ever to live. Jesus won it – it was all on Jesus’ shoulders… but you, Mar, You said yes to help bring it to completion. You are my living enterprise and God cannot fail. So, you see, you have nothing to worry about except following My lead in all things.

Talk with me about it and co-create with me. We are partners in the entire plan. And yes, Mar … you will win the lotto so that we can put more time into it along with building up this dream we have- you have been so patient and cooperative in all this. Yes, I would like to reward you.

You will be able to share with others and even travel. You are healed and able to live your life as if you were never sick. When you feel old symptoms – and you will… just rebuke it all in the name of Jesus. It has no place in you any longer. We won that battle. Take your time… don’t rush around. That is stressful and you don’t need to be stressed. All in divine order. And yes, you will win your battle with your weight. I am going to equip you in time to do that. Just have faith that it is all going to work out and that it is all for my glory. To show others that God is good. You will lose it supernaturally. The last 50 pounds will come off in front of others in an instant of healing. You will be on stage somewhere- I don’t want to give the surprise totally away- and you will be healed of your weight problem!

Isn’t that great news?! But take care of yourself and keep trying until then. You struggle is coming to an end soon, but you just need to rest in that word I’ve given you… for my glory.

WOW, ok, I receive it! Do to me as you will! Help me share that blessing with all overweight people on earth through music, please. Wouldn’t that be awesome if/when my songs will heal people of weight issues as they hear it and dance their pants start to fall down/HA! They’d have to hold on to them while they laugh and dance around in their newly thin bodies?! HA! That is going to be awesome!!! You are so fun to work with! I’m so glad I’ve said yes to you over and over. I am so glad that you find me acceptable and that you’ve forgiven my sins and help me not to sin.

When I do sin, please bring it to my attention so I can be forgiven and learn to not do it again! Help me remember my lessons and become the person you want me to be! Help me live more fully in your presence. Help me heal others in Jesus’ name. And please be my protector at all times. Please bless my marriage and help us live for you in harmony and laughter. Please bless my family and friends and all the people here including especially all the people at the VC and SM. Please keep my schedule focused on your will and that I spend my time wisely for your Kingdom. Help us financially so that we don’t need to worry about paying the bills, but that we can bless others financially and have time to work your plans. Please help my unbelief in your desire and ability to heal anyone of anything and that you want to use me. Equip me to work your miracles thru Jesus. Help me see complete healing on any condition anywhere anytime. When I see a person in a wheel chair or mentally disabled… complete and total healing in your name! Jesus, I want to move mountains in your name and help all your sisters and brothers become whole: physically, mentally and spiritually! God, I love and adore you. Thank you so much for all you have done for me. Please help me stay the course and work your will in my life. Help me realize your voice and will and to obey and exceed your expectations. Help me be who you know I can be for God’s Glory! Amen.