She slowly opened her eyes and squinted at the sun

Dutifully she tells herself to keep going, get up as the new day has begun

His voice is too quiet, too distant and faint

Unable to wrap her mind around what it could mean to be a saint

She thinks as she set her feet on the floor

“What I don’t understand is why this sadness is so impossible to ignore.”

 

When will that day finally come-

The new world with You as the sun?

 

Crying inside as she shuffles to her desk down the hall,

Life on this rollercoaster stumbling with a fall

Why again, why these nightly thoughts of wonder

How again did she skip her much-needed slumber

All the possibilities running through her head

Thinking to herself, “Why can’t I be more like You instead?”

 

Alone in her adoration He quietly tells her to just be

Be the love, be patient, simply believe, and soon you will see.

Thinking foolishly to her self, “That’s not good enough for me.”

She wants to know why, when, how, where, and at what cost

She wants you to hold her and tell her nothing is lost

 

Thoughts of illness, confusion and the drain of insanity

All that she fears and loathes remains a possibility

Not again, she pleads…

Not again. Not again.

Please God… something good.

Just, please God…not again.