Category: EPP Board Meetings Page 45 of 48

December 25, 2012

On December 25, 2012

Dec 25 2012

Merry Christmas!!! Happy Birthday, Jesus! You rock! I had a fantastic time with everyone! I am so blessed to have such a great family. Thank you for giving me all these wonderful people to be in my life. Help me remember to be more appreciative going forward and to truly enjoy my time with each of them whenever I can! So, after dinner, the tour of lights, dessert, opening/giving presents and more deserts… DB and I went to 10pm mass and I got to sit in my favorite pew- right under the statue of YOU! Baby Jesus in His daddy’s arms (St. Joseph) You look just as I remember you looked when you came to visit me … I will always remember you and Blessed Mary’s visit to me when I was sick. I don’t understand why you would come to visit me after all I’ve done wrong. I love you and am grateful for your saving grace on me and my life.

I enjoyed remembering 2006′ visit from you both. I told DB about this tonight at church and he seems like he may believe me, he didn’t laugh and didn’t tell me that I’m lying. I just never had the nerve to tell him about it before. I know that I am not special. (Even though my illness makes me think I am… in my times of grandeur!) I am just very humbled that you would visit me, call me (you said: “It’s definitely our turn” ) And since then, I’ve heard that you “really like that I am expectantly waiting.” I know it’s your birthday, and I’m loving the season… you’re the reason… I would be surprised if I actually won- what I’ve been expectantly waiting for– still, I’d be so surprised.

Well, thank you for all our blessings. So many to name only a few: Your love and grace, Our love for each other, my awesome family, our condo, jobs, your guidance, your peace, your many blessings upon blessings. Thank you for the new Dr Dre headphones, new purse, towels, books, clothes, shoes, music, couches, new cool wall hangings, good healthy food, clean water, our lake views, computers, wonderful technology on our phones, YouTube videos, good friends, organizational skills, attention to detail, my mind is clear, my mind is healed of bipolar with medicine and soon to be off it with your healing love and power… Please guide me along the path of reducing meds with Doc. … just to name a few things I’m so grateful for! I love you, Jesus. Thank you for all you went through to redeem the entire world from the grubby grips of Lucy. You are leading the way, by your stripes, we are healed and can do “all this, and more you will do…. if I say to the mountain “move” … it WILL! In your power and goodness, all will be revealed.” We just need to step into it, right!? I should try to get some sleep now, it’s 2a.m. and I need to go be with some lovely strangers at the Nursing home tomorrow and make some new friends with some bribes of Chocolates and Ukelele playing.

Please be with me, and help me sing/play the Christmas songs. Please help me pray with them, get to know them a little, and bring some cheer to them. Please lead me to the people that you most want me to visit with – I’ll send them your love and blessings. Nite, God.

** Good Night, mar. You are really a good kid. I love you. Thank you for visiting me at SM, even though I’m always with you, it was good to see you back there with DB for this special occasion. If you want to try to come once a week during the week to receive the Holy Eucharist, you are always welcome. I will bless that if you will come. I really would like you to come at least once a week. Maybe you could plan Wednesday 7a.m. mass? You will really enjoy our time together at that time. Thank you for being so loyal to me. I know it’s not easy with some of your friends- the ones that may judge you because of me. I know you feel rejected by them because of me. Please don’t worry about pleasing anyone but me. Just shine with the light I give you and darkness disappears in the light. Easy as that. You will be repaid a hundredfold, your crown is awaiting you. Your persecutions are not going to be unnoticed- you are adding to your glory in heaven and just know you take all the love you give with you wherever you go in this world and into the next. You will be with me in heaven. You will be one of the greats. Don’t roll your eyes and shake your head. You need to step into this, Mar… Step up and get your groove on! YOU ROCK, mar, … I love you! Now, just lie down and think on that as you drift to sleep. I will give you a wonderful dream to wake to in the morning- write it down so you remember! I will show you what I am talking about…. good nite!

Oh, you are too fun! Ok, good night, God. I love you back!

December 21, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On December 21, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Today was thrilling and chilling… Thrilling because of the wonderful energies I felt most of the day. (The long awaited 12-21-12!) Thrilling but chilling I say, because I almost died in a car accident! I was coming home from Mom’s house and a car flew through the red light as I was crossing. The car sped in front of me about one foot in front of my car. I mean, I would have been crushed if I hadn’t been another second in route home…thank you, God! And thank you, Angels for looking out for me!

So, this morning I had a nice leisurely time waking. I was watching videos on you tube getting ready for 11:11 a.m. Solstice … I was watching PCR or something like that spelling- she is a strange one, but I felt good watching her video made for today. I love that we are entering into a new age and all the wonderful things that will go with that! I can’t wait to be able to have God’s holy superpowers!!! ESP, Teleportation, levitation, invisibility, bi location ability, manifesting ability, be able to fly, walk through walls, imagine my favorite foods, eat them and still lose weight to be my most perfect and beautiful self ever… Bring it on, new love light energies/Christ Consciousness/Heaven on Earth!!! The lion and the lamb will lie down – love will be here in it’s full glory! Come, Jesus and bring the Kingdom with you! I love you.

Thank you for sparing my life. I owe you my life and I vow to let you have your way with me. Make it worth your saving my life to fulfill your purposes. Help me live for you. Help me be who you want me to be. Help me think as you would like and to sing, write, play ukulele, and dance for your glory. Give me talent or at least a good sense of humor about it all. I hope you have a great evening and thank you for not allowing humanity to have to go through Armageddon today. Please hold onto me and your children with loving arms. We don’t deserve it, but you are so good to love us all. Your Kingdom. Come! Thy will be done! (On earth as it is in heaven!)

Thank you for bringing us a new age and in the next 3 years, let us all know your love and see your light here on earth. Help me to be the person you want me to be for this time here on Earth. I understand changes will occur and I want to be in the middle of it cheering you and the Kingdom on. With music, art, writing, whatever you call me to do. I am following your lead through this thick fog. I can only see one foot ahead of me but I’ll follow your lead/voice and footsteps. Please don’t let me get lost. Hold on tightly to my hand and carry me when I can’t walk any longer. You will get me through the fire and onto the other side. It’s going to be a wonderful beautiful ride!

*** Mar, I got your back and you will not fail. Remember, You are my living enterprise and God cannot fail. You will just have to trust, laugh and enjoy the ride. It’s like the Colorado white river rafting. Just hang on and laugh, shout for joy and feel the thrilling power our journey – us together on the river.

Ok, God! I receive it! It will be a blast and a half and I can’t wait!!! Thank you also for letting Shelp me with the Monday/Friday check up and inspiration. She will be the one to see my journey of weight loss come to it’s finish line. The 10k are in April and I have 55 pounds to release and running miles to run! Thank you for SR and the instructors. Thank you for SP app and videos for exercising… I WILL DO THIS NOW! No more putting it aside. Thank you for letting me get off my meds in Jan/Feb timeframe. Please be with me and grant me mental health without Zyprexa!!! I really need you to come through with that for me, you promised me! I receive my healing and I have faith that January will be a new beginning for my life of freedom… “Complete Freedom” which you promised me!

Nite, I love you so much!!!!!!

Mar xoxoxoxoxoxo

December 15, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On December 15, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings, Uncategorized

Prophetic words given today, 12/15/12… I asked for prayer from TB and another after service asking for prayer to help my fears of my lacking talent for praying for others in the Care Ministry that I’m joining/getting training for in Jan 2013. I saw that on the board tonight and thought that it pertained to my feelings of fear with starting the service of Care Ministry at VC. Below are some things Tim said to me today: TB saw a Songbird meaning God would use me to speak through me. TB also saw a rose the roses and thorns are for protection and he went on to tell me that I am protected by God’s mighty angels- warrior angels. He also said that God will use me to speak through me -imparting healing to others for body soul and spirit. He said that God uses people that are weak and that He can shine through them -and that the fact that I don’t feel like I can’t pray for people God will speak through me and also if I stammer that might be the way that the patients need to hear it and not to worry if it seems like I’m stammering and stuttering just need to trust that God will work Through me.

TB and the other guy prayed for me for impartation of healing and be filled of the Holy Spirit which I felt in my legs almost losing my balance~ I felt uncomfortable going to the state of being filled with the Holy Spirit- I prefer it to occur in private. That same night, I had a dream I was being filled with the Holy Spirit- awoke and felt my hands shaking with the love and peace of God consuming me.

I also had a session with three prophetically trained volunteers:

C prayed for me also for healing when she prayed for me I felt warm and a tingling in my hands She saw me in a vision along with the other two women. She saw us each in a different colored robe of righteousness strutting down a runway beautiful and proud/happy, blessed. She saw me in a Beautiful Blue Sparkly Robe Of righteousness. She explained to me in a new way coming directly from God that Jesus loves me just the way I am and there’s nothing that I can do to deserve it. Covering My Head down to My Toes~ I Was Strutting around Runway like a Model Showing off My Robe of righteousness. She wanted me to know that there’s nothing I can do or not do to change about me I can’t make him love me anymore or any less –that God Loves me.

T saw a cartoon image of a meadow with purple flowers in a meadow popping open in a row as if God was marking my path for me ahead of me over a hill into the unknown. This made me think of DK’s cd cover from his last album and maybe this is pointing to collaborating with DK? I can only wish! (And pray to have God line up everything I’ll need to do his will/my mission!)

T had a vision of fog and somehow God is leading me through the fog. With a cool breeze on my face and I was given the ability for discernment. I love fog and always felt as if I were being blessed whenever I walk or drive through fog. She told me that I just need to trust that God will take me or I that don’t need to try so hard~ I need to relax and have mercy on myself. He said that there’s nothing I can do for In order to make God happy with me God except be myself and relax, enjoy the ride. (Like a river not too fast or slow)

C also said that God really likes my wild streak and when she said that she was laughing because God showed her how much he He thinks it’s fun. She also said that God could use that for his glory. (How awesome is that?!!!) T said I am going into a season in 2013 -multiplying my learning and understanding of God with much growing expanding growth~ it will be an exciting year for spiritual growth!!! I can’t wait! Freedom from mental illness/ complete freedom to live my life for God!

C saw two gifts from God: Kindness and mercy. She said kindness “comes naturally” but Mercy is challenging for me and God wants me to have my mercy on myself. There is nothing that I can do to perform. We prayed to Break it off in Jesus name~ breaking the chains of the need to perform and open the flood of Gods grace. I am holy before him. Stop Condemnation because there is no condemnation in Christ. ( I soooooo needed to hear that tonight and really I’ve needed to hear that over the last year or so!)

God wants me to give myself a breather and release high expectations on performing for God. God is in control and is in charge of it and he has a great plan for me!!! So be excited and relax – be calm in Gods ways. Practice Mercy with myself. You will find your voice in 2013 as you grow spiritually.

December 12, 2012

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On December 12, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Today new inspiration has taken me by surprise! I am excited to rewrite my old song: 5th Dimension. It will be a fun project and with great timing as today ushered in the new energies for Dec 21, 2012! I hope it turns out better than the original recording. It would be a blast to collaborate with DK and his band or some of them, if they would be interested. I am starting my new organizational processes going here in Notability. My journal is also at dropbox and on the mac. But I think I will just start it up here for now. It would be nice to have it all in one place. Here is best, I’ll be able to do this anywhere. The iPad is awesome and I need to use it more often!

Ok, so to catch up… I think I last wrote back a week or two ago. I had an interesting experience with an imagined banner that read: “Total Freedom” Man, I can’t wait for that prophetic word to come to pass. Meaning, not only my health and healing from Bi Polar (to be time tested w/o meds in Jan 2013), but also maybe a winning lotto? I was in a meeting at VC about a month ago and a complete stranger told me she caught me out of the corner of her eye and God told her to tell me that “He really likes how I am expectantly waiting!” Wow that could only mean one thing…

:0)

Also, I heard Him tell me that I will have “a Great Healing Ministry”. So, that was interesting to find out. I can’t even pray for people with confidence to heal a congested head (M had it and I tried to pray for her with not much ability – I sounded very confused, ineffective and I stumbled around.) I am going to practice more and I will get used to it. I am going to be training in Jan 2013 to be on the Care Ministry to pray for people in the hospitals. I am looking forward to that! That is basically one of my dreams. I’m trying to write songs, so I made files for organizing. I will practice the Uke in a set time of day – scheduled it into my calendar- for realz! I need to find more time in my day to get everything fit in. (Diet, exercise, uke, songwriting, reading, VC stuff, cleaning, laundry, shopping, DB-time, and oh yeah- WORK… the four letter word) Just kidding- I’m grateful to have work. It pays the bills so I can have a working iPad, Mac, iPhone… mortgage, car payments, groceries, gas, entertainment, and all the misc. stuff! Ok, now back to my songwriting book for dummies.

December 4, 2012

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On December 4, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

12/4/12 Wow, It’s been an awesome birthday weekend… so sad that it is over now. So, on my birthday, I “sealed in my soul” with a public commitment (baptism… again) and went to Holy Spirit night on Sunday evening after we dropped off G for C. I was happy that mom, dad and DB all came to celebrate with me for the baptism. It was so awesome. I don’t feel much different, except that I am glad that I made it public that I am a follower of Christ.

I really believe that I was asked by God to do it and since it was on my birthday, I couldn’t really say no. It was the best present I could have ever received! I am embarrassed by my size on the video-which I haven’t seen yet, but that’s ok. I am not where I’d liked to have been for it, but that’s ok. I truly believe that doing it was the best thing I could have done for my relationship with God. What was weird was when DL asked me if I will love Jesus the rest of my life… I was taken by surprise. I didn’t know that would be a question. My thoughts ran from…. Yes, of course – then I thought but I don’t act like it when sometimes I let Jesus down and if I love Jesus all my life, then I can’t be ashamed to go public and praise Jesus Christ without any fear of rejection. If I truly loved Jesus, then I would do whatever he asked no matter if it is out of my comfort zone of being mocked. All these thoughts ran through my head in an instant when she asked me that question.

In a moment delay, I decided that, YES, Of course I love Jesus and I will always LOVE Him! No matter what he asks me to do. With His help and courage, faith, strength, wisdom: it wouldn’t be me but through Christ than enables me to do His will. It would be ok for me to agree to all of the above fears because it was there by the deceiver! Of course, Of course I love Jesus and I will always love Jesus! All the doubts about me not being good enough to answer “yes” to that question was put there in a last ditch effort of Lucy to mess me up. I declare I love Jesus and will ALWAYS LOVE JESUS! NO matter WHAT! I am so glad I was baptized! It means to me that I reaffirm my parent’s intent of me to be a Christian (when they baptized me as a baby) and that I followed through with it all my life to now and forever – sealed in my heart in front of everyone!

With my soaked head to toes, I sealed it into my heart… in front of everyone. BEST. DAY. EVER!!! I am so glad my mom was there. I think she was happy for me even though at first she didn’t want to come. (for whatever reason) She changed her mind and I’m glad they all came! After the service, I went up to be prayed for and that was an awesome experience for me, too! My friend S was so awesome from the start when I met her in June. She was great and helped me with DL for the “immersing” into the water. People told me that the Gifts of the Holy Spirit are mine and I sang in tongues again that night at Holy Spirit Night. Someone told me that he saw on me that I will hear God’s Voice. (WOW! That is so cool!) I think I hear God but It is usually my Dad’s voice and that kinda is weird, but makes sense I guess.

God is really funny and helps me with sorting some of this stuff out. Only problem? I don’t really know for sure what is Me, and what is God – who’s talking here? Next Thursday is another Prophetic Encouragement class I’ll go to. Maybe they can help me understand. So, Sunday night at after H.S. night- here’s what I heard from D and her mom who prayed with me. They said: God loves you so much. (she kept stressing that over and over) He (lucy/devil) knows that if he can get you- he can get anyone. Now that threw me for a loop. If the devil thinks he can get anyone if he can get me- that means that I really can’t be douped by him. I know that I am God’s living enterprise and He can’t fail! So, sorry Lucy, but you’ve got some trouble with me because I WILL NOT GIVE INTO YOUR LIES. What I’ll do is simply take your lies and turn them around to truth for strengthening me! The opposite of a lie is complete truth. So, when you tell me and try to make me think things like: “you are disappointing God, I’m a disappointment for God” The opposite is true! GOD IS SO PROUD OF ME!

“You are afraid of being mocked- I’m afraid of what people think” NO I’m NOT! I am myself, I AM PROUD OF JESUS, I am Never going to care what anyone thinks- I will do God’s will, Live my life for Jesus and I truly don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about me, so you, Lucy can go straight to hell! Go to hell and stay there. I am not afraid- and that is the truth. When did I ever care what people thought of me? Never- to be honest, it can hurt, but I truly don’t care because I don’t value their opinion. I only care what God thinks of me. So-there!

Another good one he always tries to fool me with is: “you can’t sing” Well, I say I Can sing! Anything is possible in Jesus. So, I’ll ask Him for the ability to sing and I know he will provide the talent needed to do his will. I can sing and I know this because I’ve heard my voice sound good from time to time and God will help me out with that if I ask and I am asking right now! In Jesus’ name, I can sing, Devil,

You break your chains of fear of being laughed at, and belief of unworthiness, chains be broken of shyness, chains be broken of singing out of tune, Blessings by the Holy Spirit, I ask you to guide my mouth, tongue, throat, lungs, every breath, I give you my whole self to praise you without fear. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

So, every lie I hear, I turn it around in Jesus’ name and believe the truth which is the exact opposite of any lie. And I ask the Holy Spirit to make me aware and catch the lies that Lucy throws at me. Show me the truth at all times. Give me the gift of discerning spirits so I can see clearly when Lucy is trying to work in my life. I ask that you help me STOP in my tracks at the lie- turn it around and show me the truth that it is. Encouragement is a truth. Defeat, sad thoughts, fear, any negative emotion is caused by a lie from Lucy. So, show me the truth by turning it around for me.

Holy Spirit, I ask you to guard my mind. Please send me your angels to protect me. Make a fortress of light around me at all times. Thank you for your protection. Thank you for your guidance and thank you for all you have done for me! You are awesome and amazing! Thank you for the Church! Everyone there ROCKS! So I also was told that night (after H.S. Night) that I will have what I need, God is always with you. Blessings coming you way- In DIVINE TIME not my time. I received prayers for patience and prayers for healing my painful past of mental illness. I am so glad I am healed of that!!!! I am free to love. I am free to be me!!! I am free to worship without getting psychotic.

I am so glad for my freedom from Bi Polar illness, freedom from all mental disabilities!!! D’s mom also told me that my JOY is RETURNING! She saw me as a little girl skipping! That’s great because I remember being carefree skipping around. I love that she said that! I love letting it go and just skipping around! Well, I need to write a song as an assignment for next week. Matt is such a great teacher- We went over my lesson time a whole hour and I am so lucky to have such a laid-back and giving teacher. I think he liked the gift of the Uke book by Jummin’ Jim (365 daily songs for ukulele) I am excited to write a new one. I’ll be using the 32 bar/jazz model **Write about your baptism! Ok, that will be fun. A little embarrassing, but fun. Will you help me make it?

**Sure. Sing something like: It’s Sunday morning, my birthday in december. Not a normal birthday, but the best one yet. Light shone on me I’ll always remember. Something like that or I’ll Always Remember It was a warm and sunny Sunday My Birthday this December Light shone on me I’ll always remember Not a normal day I’ll shout it out loud The best one yet Not ashamed- I’m proud Dunked into the water Huge smile on my face Your love is so good Sin’s gone without a trace Couldn’t live without you Don’t know where I’d be now Without your guiding hand My life is yours I vow

Ok, Cool – I’ll go work on it! Thanks! I love you, Nite.

November 28, 2012

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On November 28, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I’ve been lax in writing, but let me say, you are on my mind. I am hoping I haven’t pissed you off by not keeping up with all the things I feel I should do for our assigned schedule. I only have so much energy and time. I get weary just thinking about it all. But it’s good. I said yes to it and it is very exciting. I love that I have a purpose and that you are behind it all. It was your request and I am so glad you asked me to help out. I feel that even writing this may be or certainly is- crazy. I don’t know how much longer I can last on my crazy thoughts. Yes, I am ready for the “next step” as P’s brother said. I am hoping that word came from you. I think you do speak through others, especially people that are prophetically trained. If this is all true and really happening I am so glad! The other promises will also be occurring, that I am sure. So, if we get onto the next level- a win tonight would bring in some 550 million!!! And, then we can focus on the rest of the plan… I’m sure I have no idea how awesome it is going to be! Giving it away and making music with some incredible musicians, healing people, bringing your miracles to commonality from your golden age goodness… I can not wait! I love you so much, and I am glad you picked me. I hope I’m not letting you down too much. I try and I try, but I don’t have the energy sometimes. I am burnt out with my job, and I am so excited to work FOR YOU FULL TIME! I can’t wait, I am so excited, I love you! And yes, I will be so surprised if I ever finally do win the lotto. I’ll be so relieved that I have not been crazy to believe I’d win the lotto all these years.

Oh, I should just stop while I’m ahead and tell you I love you and whatever you have planned for me, if it is your will, I am glad for it. I may be way off on the lotto winning idea, but I think you have been telling me that it is a big part of your plan… so, Ok. If you say so…. I guess I could handle 550 million beans! :0) you are too good to me. You truly are. I love you. Wish me your luck and thank you for your love!

November 23, 2012

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On November 23, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I was able to control my eating yesterday (Thanksgiving). I logged everything and it turned out that I still was in the losing part of my chart with my new app for logging. I love the new log app because it charts it great, is easy to use, and analyzes your day with helpful tips on which foods were the worst and what you did well. (Like exercise, low sodium, low fat, low cholesterol, etc.) I see someone out with a hood, gloves, long pants, and a jacket walking by the lake. I think once I’m done here, I’ll go for my run! She just inspired me. I think it’s about only 35 degrees but it is also super windy. I think I’ll just go for a short 2 mile run. Yesterday I did 5k plus a little extra. I felt sick during it, so I walked maybe .5 mile of it. I am excited to go back to the Rec. Ctr. They have a lot of classes at different times, so I should be able to make it often.

We have G with us for 2 weeks! YAY! She is so good. Not one accident yet, and she is such a snuggle- honey. I got her an adorable tee shirt that says “Reindeer in Training” – it is red with white fluffy trim on the front legs and bottom of the tee. She loves it. I also got her a red sweater with roses on it, but I haven’t put it on her yet. It was so nice of C to let us babysit. We miss her when she isn’t around- and we only usually have her once a year or so. C is on vacation in Florida- so we get our sweet puppy during that. I still feel guilty for giving her up for adoption in 2006. (I was sick, and I was not able to take care of her, or go for walks, etc.) I now take her for walks about every 4 hours. She loves it. I think I’ll take her for a walk in a minute.

She actually may not want to go now that it cooled off so much today – and windy. Yesterday it was in the 60’s and today it’s low in the 30’s… Yikes! I don’t know if I want to go for the run, but I’ll use my new hood I got for the winter runs. I paid for it, so I better use it! All talk and no action- Mar!!!

Can’t believe the Powerball tonight is all the way up to something like 325 Million beans! I would love to be able to share it with the hurting. How fun would that be?!!!

***You will have fun, believe me! Awesome!

Thank you, Daddy! But you know I’ll still be surprised! Don’t worry about that! I talk big, like “I know I’ll win” but, I don’t take it as complete truth since I’ve never actually seen it happen. I hope and I pray and I want to also behave in a respectful way. I don’t take anything for granted, especially a win of the power ball jackpot… Thank you so much for all you’ve given me. I am content right now and I love you! I love my life, and I only want to be who you want me to be. I would like to see my path coincide with your will for me. Please help me think as you would like, please help me act how you enjoy, please help me make you proud of me. I want to be your #1 daughter, and I know I have a long way to go. I love you, and I know I let you down sometimes. I am sorry. Please forgive me of my temper, impatience, un-compassionate, and sometimes- rude behavior. Help me be more appreciative. I will go run now.

*** You rock, Mar. I luvz you!

November 15, 2012

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On November 15, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Hi there, God! I’m just chugging along.. getting burnt out with the calling gig. I don’t understand what’s going on here. I think that my thinking I’m going to win the lottery has taken a toll on my job. I am painfully making each call with the rude people telling me to basically go you know what yourself. I am really struggling to do this. Maybe I should change gears in 2013? I don’t know. I saw the pot is all the way up to 214 Million. I would have so much fun with that, giving it away and quitting our day jobs! I can’t imagine how much fun that would be. I’d love to give away most of it. I’m tired. Haven’t worked out, skipping the boot camp… I feel like a slug. I need to make it a priority again: exercising regularly and logging my food/exercise.

Baptism is coming up. I have the class on it this Sunday and then the baptism is on my birthday… I think that it will be a relief to get that done. I feel like I will be nervous and I don’t know what I’ll say when they put the microphone in front of me before my dunk… it’s going to be videotaped, too. I’m not so sure about this. Oh well, it’s gotta be done, right? Discover meetings are winding down. I think we have 2 more classes after tonight. Thank you for my healing of the mental illness, I am so happy that I’m able to do all this Church stuff and the freedom is amazing. I am still a little nervous that I’ll get sick, but you are proving to me each day that I’m healthy and that it is really true. I am truly healed and free! That is amazing, the feeling- it’s amazing! Thank you!

So, I’m trying to get some songs together to play for the nursing homes. This afternoon I’ll talk with E to see if we can practice sometime before. I’ll try to get ready by mid December. To play before Christmas would be good. I love my Fishman amplifier… it’s nice and lightweight and great for acoustic ukulele playing… I am forcing myself to do this because it will be good experience to play in front of people. (Even if they are alzheimers patients… they won’t remember how bad I was! lol) Help me with this, please. Also thank you for your help with writing songs. It was a blast to create, sorry I was out of tune with the singing… I’d like to write more songs before the end of the year. DK will help me out with it.

I’m looking forward to getting Logic Pro – it will make writing songs easier… easier to work with on the computer than the ipad. I need to try a little harder in all the above areas: weight, exercise, diet, ukulele, work, etc.etc… The weight will eventually come off. I am sure. I just need to keep plugging along.

*** You are right where you need to be. All is well and everything is unfolding as it should. Don’t worry- have fun! (Do I sound like a broken record?) Don’t worry, Mar. You are doing great. I love you.

Somewhere in heaven there is a place waiting for you. He made a promise, gave every drop of blood. .. died on the cross so we’d be free. Somewhere in heaven there is a place waiting …waiting for you and me. He made a promise, gave every drop of blood, and died on the cross so we’d be free. (Santana’s song) love it! Carlos Santana Rocks! Thank you for giving me your sweet freedom! I love you!

November 13, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On November 13, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Ok, so it’s been almost a full week since I wrote. I am supposed to rededicate my journaling for the next 2 weeks per our small group (the Prophetic Encouragement group) I don’t know why I stopped writing, I only know that I feel lost with out it. I am feeling sad and to be honest, alone. I don’t feel your warmth, tingly touch on my forehead and hands and It makes me wonder if I messed up big time…. I know I’ve been impatient, rude, mean, swearing from time to time, and basically not a very good resemblance of you, Jesus. Help me be more like you. Please forgive me for my wrongs- my sins… my bad behavior. I think I just feel like you should be mad at me. I’ve been proud, conceited and unkind. Yes, you should be let down because of my behavior. You may wonder why you even put up with me at all. You may wonder why you love me so much. I know I am wondering that myself. Hummmm. What say you?

*** Oh, Mar. You still don’t get it, do you? You can not earn my love. You can not ever be good enough on your own. I died for you. I died so that you don’t need to feel ashamed. I carried your shame on the cross. You are righteous in my blood. My death on the cross actually cleared multitudes of sins for you and every person who ever asks for me to carry their sin to forgiveness. Every person who ever lived on Earth or ever will live – I died for all. I’m not picky. Anyone. I came for anyone and everyone. God wants you to not feel condemned. You asked for forgiveness when you felt sad, alone, and dirty. In your asking, you are forgiven. Accept it. Please accept it and live in my love. Love others. Be careful to not think you could ever do anything on your own to earn God’s love. God loves you, each of you, because you’re my kids. You’re my sister, and friend. Mar, please don’t sit in your sin… dust yourself off in my love, and shake off the dirt. I love you. As for your forehead, and hands- if you soak up my holy spirit, in time with Him, if you focus on love, you will feel it again. You will feel it anytime you think of God and His great love for you. Close your eyes and think on us, feel us – feel our love on your forehead and hands. Try it. Try it now.

I feel you. Thank you! I feel it on my hands especially and also somewhat on my forehead. What does it mean?

*** It is my spirit which will be for the masses. Your hands will spread my love through your music and when you pray for others with your hands outstretched or on their shoulder… you (and many others) have the ability to spread my healing spirit out into the world. You will one day, when the time is right, you will just lay your hands on a hospital, and all the patients inside (and any sick workers there) will be instantly healed. You’ll put the hospitals out of business, but that’s ok. It’s in the order of things to come when MY Kingdom comes. Sickness has no hold on your town. … also then for the world as cities darkness’ fall like dominoes so that one after another, each city will belong to me, (GOD). It will start with your town and You will help be the catalyst for the other cities to follow. Signs and miracles will be the norm. People will have food, shelter, clothes, health, anything they need or desire – if it is my will, they will have it. And believe me when I say, “I want that, I want that for everyone!” It is almost my time. Almost time for my Mighty and Holy Kingdom to come onto Earth. Are you glad you get to start up the party?

Oh, my G O D, yes! I don’t feel worthy or able in my weaknesses and no talent, to do this job. I think you may have got the wrong gal? I am willing. I guess that is all you needed was someone who is willing to appear crazy. Well, yep, I’m certified in that! So, no – I don’t care what people think. (Well, sometimes I do.) I just want to make you proud of me. I’d like to think I’m willing and able but know that it is all you. You will have to work through me and I trust that you will. I remember what you said to me:

“Mar, you are my living enterprise, and God can NOT fail!”

Well, I cling to that promise and will remember that . It is YOU who will accomplish everything. I just want to be willing to follow. Please help me follow. Please give me the courage, strength, mind, and heart for your assignments. I am trying to figure out what you want me to do each day. I just take it day by day because when I make my plans, I know you are laughing!!! I can hear you snickering right now! You are really getting a kick out of this, I can tell. Hopefully I’m doing an o.k. job. I am trying to not get stressed out over it. I had that horrible melt down a few days ago. I am sorry that I swore and I’m sorry for feeling so defeated. The fire darts that Lucy fired into my mind seemed to cause a melt down but I know it was not from you and that you got me through it pretty quickly. I do feel badly for letting Lucy win even that small battle. I am ready and roaring to go! Send me!!!! I’ll go!

*** Ok, you are ready, I can tell… you are doing so well, Mar. You are my golden boot warrior in this game of Love. You are going to win this game… “LOVE WINS!” (Will be the headlines) You are a key player in this game. And yes, it is a game. Don’t get too serious, that is a downfall to you and our assignment. Remember, nothing is too hard or impossible to me. God always wins in the end. I’m getting tired of Lucy though and it’s time for my team to win, to live, to love, to rule! Lucy’s time is almost up. Don’t worry about anything. Don’t worry about money. Don’t worry about time or not enough time. I am the author of Life, I am the controller of Time. If you need time, you will have it. If you need funds, you will have it. If you ask in Jesus’ name, you will have it if it is my will. Your life is in the palm of my hand and I will not let you fall. You are right where I want you to be.

Everything is unfolding just as it should, so have fun. Don’t stress over it. If you have fun, we win. It’s as simple as that. If you get too upset over this game, we may have to take a time out to regroup, but just know that there is no way that I won’t have my kids back. . … I know the outcome. I see it all at once. I know we will win because I know everything. So really- come on- believe me. I will not leave you alone. I am with you in all things. I will not let you fail. I thank you for your willingness. You are becoming everything we decided prior to your birth. You know you can do this. I have seen the future, and you better put on your shades, because the future is so bright… you’re gonna’ need shades!

I can ‘t wait to get to the party! I want to have it all done yesterday. I am sorry for my impatience. Please give me patience, love and kindness, compassion, strength, and courage for the ride. I love your ways. You make all things right. You are awesome. I love you! Help me see the ways you help me. You healed my disease, you strengthened my knees and made them new, you love me so much, you talk to me and give me your spirit. I thank you for your kindness to me. I don’t deserve it. Thank you for adopting me.

*** I didn’t adopt you- you are my daughter.

What? Are you sure?

*** Yes. Don’t ask.

Ok. I don’t understand and I don’t think I ever could. I just thank you and ask you to forgive me for my ungratefulness. I just can’t wrap my brain around that. That would mean that somehow, I am your daughter in a more real way? How is that possible?

*** don’t ask. You are special, though. Just know how much I love you. You and DB both. You are both my kids. I watch out for my kids and no one will mess with you. They know better than that. I also have St. Michael, the Arch Angel and a host of other angels watching out for you. You are well protected, but don’t do anything stupid, like walk in front of a car… Don’t test it. You have a responsibility for it, also. But yes – you are my daughter.

Ok, if you say so. I don’t really understand. That’s ok. I am just glad you aren’t mad at me for swearing like a sailor, and slamming things around in my silly anger… being unloving, impatient and ungrateful… I am a mess. I think If I would keep the journal going daily, I’d be in a much better situation. Right?

*** you got it, Mar. Even if it is for a short time – say 5 or 10 minutes, you will get so much out of it. Don’t go for days in sin. Come to me and ask me to help you restore yourself to me. I love you and when you sit in sin, you are not a good vessel for my spirit. I need a pure spirit to work with and all you need to do is come here at these pages and ask me to restore you to me. I am asking you to please use my forgiveness capabilities, and use them for your own good and for the good of the mission. You WILL slay the dragon. I have not doubts. You are the one for me. I will use you, I will enable you. I will help you in every way possible. I only ask 2 things: First, Come to Jesus for forgiveness when you make mistakes/sin. I need you to come here daily to chat. OK? And secondly, have fun. Simple? Yes, it is simple. I’ll do the heavy lifting,-you do the fun. Ok?

Yep! I can do that! I think I really make things more difficult than they need to be. I always do that. I am sorry. Please help me to see the fun in everything. To relax. To love. To be obedient to journal and spend time with you. I love you. Thank you for making me righteous in your eyes. Thank you for forgiving me of everything. Even for forgiving me for the things I don’t even remember doing. Thank you. I love you.

Oh say, Could you give me some dreams tonight that are FUN and dreams with a loving message for my weary soul… I need some laughter in my soul. Thx! I love you. Night.

November 7, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On November 7, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I know it’s been a week since I wrote last. I am so sorry. Yesterday, to make a short story shorter- I had a meltdown with stress in all I feel I need to get done. I mean, I really cried out to you, God. You answered with your unmistakable peace. Thank you! I am sorry for swearing, too. Thank you for understanding.

*** Don’t worry; I know your heart. You only want to do a good job with your assignment and you feel overwhelmed. I completely understand. Don’t worry about getting EVERYTHING done overnight. Time is under my control and divine order for all. You do NOT need to worry about getting it all done under some sort of made up deadline. You are my living enterprise and remember- I cannot fail!!! So, just so you know, it’s all in my hands. I only need a willing person to be my ambassador (or instrument) and you agreed. Just know that you cannot fail as long as you are open and wiling to be my co-creator and work on earth for me. You are taking your assignment seriously and because of that it will work. But, it will work only if you don’t get so serious and stressed. OK? Have fun and having fun with this is a main part of you assignment.

:0)

I see you smiling. I know- it seems too easy. You don’t need to try so hard. I love you and I am taking complete care of you. I am in control of all things…

I know, and I feel it. I always made things harder than I need to and that has lifetime been my issue. I’m always so serious and too hard at work in the fun things. Thank you, I needed to hear that. Below are some notes I took down over the past week on my phone. I emailed them to me and here I’ll paste to you: Heal conference notes:

Notes: Healing from food addiction- believed in my healing from that addiction stood up to claim it when called out addictions. Sat down to claim it without a sign. Sat down and the spirit sweetly rocked me gently filling me with gentle calm. Got home and still felt full of spirit calm light tingling all over my body. ordered the RC and RD’s cd of entire conference. God will do this (our ministry). I stepped into it full faith asking for courage to follow through. God took it to another level this weekend and I still said yes! Thank you God for filling me with courage and hope, faith and love. I can’t believe that over 300 people were healed this weekend. It was amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you God!!!! Thank you for my new friend R. Please heal him in 3 weeks like he was told- help me have faith and boldness to pray a prayer of complete healing and get him out of wheelchair and up running the marathon next spring with me. Let him be my new running partner! Give him a new mouth and throat so he can speak! Thank you for his sweet soul he is so joyful and he is an amazing child of God. Thank you for all my new friends- so many I need a cheat sheet to remember all their names. I think I’ve met probably over 50 new people in the last month… God, you are so kind to me. You are really making up for all the lonely years. I finally came home. Thank you! I love you.

I’m still believing for the lotto. For Time to work for the Family Business of Love and help you save souls, for freedom to do this, & for FUN!

Please guide President Obama with his next 4 years. Help us navigate through our worldly troubles. (many) In your highest good, we will all thrive. Please come with your highest good, come to Earth in a huge way. Take over the health care industry through your (Jesus’) healing touch. May all diseases, sicknesses, and poverty soon become a thing of the past old world. Come. Come Holy Spirit. Come and be our King. Come and rule the earth. Your divine goodness is what we need and It WILL be a great party under your new Son. No more sickness, pain or sorrow! Give us all a new home under you and your awesome goodness. I adore you, Jesus.