Welcome to the end of time... where you find... miracles happen all the time!

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November 14, 2018

Just thinking with the God of the Universe:

The Game called “life”.  I need to revive my purpose why I am here! What is the reason for it all? How am I wired… crazy or what? What is going on?  I don’t understand myself.  Dreaming of one day starting my mission.  Why should I wait?  Don’t I want to do something now for helping people… Yes!  I want to be living my compassion in action.  What are the rules?  I want to win… but I don’t know what the rules are in this game of life. I am in conflict… pain… frustrations. I am playing by the rules… giving my all.  The storm destroying all I’ve worked on.  Why even try? Everything I do is for not.  What is the meaning beyond the moment?  What else can this mean… how can I use this pain to sculpt my soul?  What can I do to move myself forward?   (Tony Robins is talking to me here, now.)


What is the essence of what I really want to do? Remember back when I felt like “this is what life’s about”… what was I doing?  What was I feeling?

I was “performing” in my living room with no one around but I was laughing and entertaining in practice runs.  I was talking about God, singing, and cracking jokes.


Grow, create, discover, expand, love…. Think of a second time in life when things were flowing.  Step into it right now.  Look around: See what I saw, what I felt… what was I doing? How was I feeling. What people were involved? What was the process?  Who was I with?  Capture the idea and the feeling.


I was in shape.  I was in spectacular shape loving to eat “raw” fruits and vegetables and I was running most days.  I was super fit and had tons of energy.  I was also a little bit manic at the time but not in a bad way.  I felt so amazing and it was easy to be kind and loving with all the extra energy.


Think of a third time when I felt incredible… on a major roll. When I thought this is what life is about.  Step into it right now.  What was I creating, sharing, feeling…


I was singing Christian songs in my basement with the karaoke auto tune and effects singtrix machine.  I felt time go by so quickly and I loved every minute of it.  Another time, I was singing LaLaLove Language – I sang in tongues and felt freedom with being able to sing from my soul.  Time went by so quickly that time, also.


if I was to say it in a simple phrase: The purpose of my life is…. (Stay positive, brief and emotionally charged) I have to be in my mission statement and also with other people.  Being and doing… what is the purpose of my life?  TO be and do what for others?


The purpose of my life… say it 5 times in different ways until it molds into something I like.  The purpose of my life is to what….

Know the goal of the game. Keep it in front of me.  To do list. On wall. On phone.  Think about it each day- how can I live my purpose more? Powerful, loving, playful, inspiring, loving, caring…  my purpose statement-


Not getting my dream sets me up for my destiny.  Whenever something happens, what is the higher purpose. How to use it to make me more?  Trust that it happened for a reason.  This will serve me.  Even though it may be painful.   No matter what happens, I will benefit because I will look for the benefits. If you build it, they will come…


My purpose in life:

Serve God.  Connect with people and connect people to God.  Be used by God in the family business of helping people know God’s love and to help them make the choice for Jesus to accept Him in order to become destined to live eternally in Heaven with the family of God.  Pray through songs with courage for others for their healing and to help people be happy, joyful through laughter.  To be healthy, energetic and fit in order to best be prepared to get on a stage -to entertain people and bring smiles and light to the people who are living life in darkness.  To love others selflessly and to live the rest of my life loving better.  To live and love like Jesus.  To see people healed in body, mind, soul and spirit through music that EPP creates.  To create healing music (Feat.) with many different musicians.  To help feed people and show love to all people at all times. To be a blessing to others.  To be giving, patient, kind, loving, generous and to be brave in sharing the good news of Christ’s Divine Mercy.  Maybe have people come over for a karaoke worship party?  Start a small group?



September 29, 2018

Q1- Thank you for weekends!  You are so good to us, I have a hard time wrapping my brain around your goodness!  I’m looking forward to the neighborhood potluck this afternoon… please help me relax and have a good time.  I’m excited to meet everyone for the first time.  Please, don’t let me worry about saying the wrong thing, and help me listen more and not blab on and on.  Please help me remember names and their faces.  I have a difficult time remembering names and for some reason, the faces don’t even trigger how I know people.  I think I’m a little challenged in this area.  It’s not that I don’t care; it’s that I just don’t remember much about all types of things!


Answer, Q1- Don’t worry about anything.  Just know that you are loved by God Almighty and that is all that matters.  Have fun talking with people and try to be a good listener.  If you think of things to say while another is talking, just wait and listen to them until a break and if it is worth saying, you will remember what it was you wanted to share.  If not, don’t worry about it- it doesn’t matter if you forget what you wanted to say. Ok?  I will help you remember the names, don’t worry about anything.  With all things, look to me and my approval and you will see that you don’t need to worry about what other people think. Also, most people have a difficult time remembering names and connecting that to their face.  It’s a common problem, so don’t ever feel badly when you have a problem with this.


Q2- I’m thinking about taking the poetry class that is being offered in November.  It is specifically about telling a story or stories in poetry.  I think it would be a great class being offered by PC and T.  What story should I tell?


I have so many wild stories to tell.  One I think most about is the time I had a manic episode and ran off. I ended up in the Salvation Army shelter when it was 110 degrees outside and wanted to get in the car to drive to Chicago with another girl at the shelter.  How you saved me from homelessness.  How you helped DB find me and save me from a bleak future alone in Chicago with a mind broken from mental illness.


Or how I’ve escaped danger and death several times.  My angels saved me from car accidents, a ski accident, the college parties that were dangerously populated by satanic worshipers with evil intent on harming people – out in the desert… students were disappearing.  I remember you saved me from rape on 2 accounts.  So many stories when I look back, it’s a miracle that I am alive.


Or I could tell my story about you and how I am so confused with the illness when it seems as if you are not only my Heavenly Father, God Almighty but my paternal father, my dad – the one I know so well- that somehow the two of you are the same. That God has come down to earth in the form of my dad but that he is not only God, but sometimes he is rotating between evil and then back to Father God… yes, It is a difficult to live with a broken mind. It is painful, frustrating and very tiresome to not know what kind of person people will be… Good or Bad rotating within my family and friends, and apparently to most of the people I know. It brings some serious confusion and is extremely tiresome.  I just accept it, though, and try to ignore the bad and appreciate the good when it comes around.  It always does.


Or, I could tell my story about the time I felt like I was going down into the dark depths of hell and how when I called out to Jesus, I was saved and brought back to awaken in the hotel room we were temporarily staying at that night.  (DB brought me there in hopes that the next day, he could get me admitted to the hospital.)


Answer, Q2-  I am so sorry that you have been through so much!  It sounds like you could do many story-telling poems, but I encourage you to not focus on the bad.  When you write your story in poetry, focus on all the good that has come out of your experience.


You could write about the visions I’ve given you, or you could write about the love you have in DB.  You could write the story about the love of Jesus that you know so well.  You could write the story of answered prayer that you know so well.  You could write the story about your childhood and how it led you to being the person you are now… still child-like and goofy… tell why your heart is not hardened from all you’ve been through with all of your life’s difficulties.  You could write the story about heaven coming down to earth one day soon and that the veil is being slowly lifted…  you could share why you think that is the case now. You could write so many beautiful stories.  Do not bring more sadness and hopelessness but shine your light in the darkness.  Do it for me, Mar?


You’re calling me to you

I’ll follow you to eternity

Just tell me where to go

I will heed your call

If I don’t, then please know

I only ask you Help me turn back towards you

I’ll follow you to eternity

Just don’t let me get lost

Along the way

I pray.


Looking up to the sky

In you my hope shall lie

Twinkling above so bright

Singing their song’s delight


Chorus:   Stars, stars, stars forever

Endless galaxies shine

Until the end of time

Sings of your love divine


I love you past the stars

Around the sun’s bright rays

To the next galaxy

To the end of our days






Time stops for your return

Hearts beating in love burn

Look up all the brave souls

Each one with unique roles

Doubting Thomas


You won’t break your promise

Even if called a doubting Thomas

Golden Streets the common pavement

Mansions…lives filled with endless entertainment

Music never imagined before

Rocking eternity with your sacred score


We all yearn to know

Even if we don’t let it show

Got to be something more

This we can’t ignore


Beautiful island in fields of love

A home coming parade from up above

Kewl King of my heart!

My hero, my superman, you’re off the chart

Invade my life -make me your queen

Turn this town to a mighty music scene



Who can come in denial with a hate citation?

Hope for the loophole: “love for creation”

But don’t ask me- I’m in sales not administration


The promise land-in paradise with you

A family reunion – bodies brand new

Sickness, sadness and poverty no more

New life with you is never a bore

Laughing, singing and shining bright

This -my beautiful dream tonight


Looking up to the sky

In you my hope shall lie

Twinkling above so bright

Singing their song’s delight


Chorus:   Stars, stars, stars forever

Endless galaxies shine

Until the end of time

Sings of your love divine


I love you past the stars

Around the sun’s bright rays

To the next galaxy

To the end of our days






Time stops for your return

Hearts beating in love burn

Look up all the brave souls

Each one with unique roles



Thank you so much for checking out the Eternal Party People Blog!  I will be going back to 2004 adding some of my poetry, short stories, various chit-chats, and Board Meetings for the Eternal Party People organization.

ShamRock Music Studio is currently a dream under construction.  I am hoping, praying and expectantly waiting  for God to invest in His Living Enterprise… we shall see what happens!

Feel free to look around and don’t forget to come back soon to see what’s new!

Thanks for being awesome!


January 9, 2017


2017-01-09 08:38pm

Strange little light and some unexpected greetings


I am so ready for sunshine and warm weather again. I pray that spring comes sooner then expected. Tomorrow should be better and the next even better but freezing returns this weekend. I’d love to go for a long walk tomorrow if there is a break in the rain. I don’t know what to write about as you can tell by the weather report I just gave… sorry. Lol.


I’m going to be honest here for a minute. I had a few odd things happen in 2016 that I need to think about, pray over to get some kind of understanding. I don’t want to be weird here, but some strange things (strange to me) have happened that I would like to journal so I don’t forget and so I understand more about my illness… it’s symptoms, or truth in odd circumstances? The first is more supernatural than the following one I will tell a little about.


I have a long list of happenings to share. For now I will focus on 2016 oddities. The one that I most distinctly remember happened in this past summer. It was hot and full of mosquitoes that evening around dusk out back on the deck. I was enjoying the last of the sunset and view of the lake (pond) with the ducks nowhere to be seen. They must have gone in for the night… wherever that was, I don’t know. The lake is about a mile from the house I grew up on. I could never have guessed that I would be moved right back here in my late forties, if you told me when I was in high school. But anyways, it’s my “back yard” now and I love the quiet and serene peaceful home we have.


So, as I was looking over the lake and enjoying everything about it except the hungry mosquitoes, a bright but small golden light floated towards my side of the lake! It was about 50 feet to my right and about the same distance out. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I watched it move happily (it seemed to skip) across the lake and it appeared to maybe even know my delete in watching it! I opened the glass door and yelled, “Hey, you’ve got to see this!” “See what?” he snapped. “Come here… you won’t believe this… hurry before it’s gone,” He slowly made his way off the couch to come take a look. He saw it too! “Wow, huh…” he said unexcitedly. I asked him what he thinks it is; do you see this, too? He did. The cheerful little golden …bright as a led flashlight, tiny ball of love kept coming across the lake. Andy went back inside little impressed and irritated with the vampire bugs.


I watched it a few more minutes until it went between our building and the next. It was so odd, I don’t have any explanation. Other than knowing that in the Bible God is the “Father of Lights”, so this is probably just his way of saying hello!


The next oddity I can think of in 2016 that happened is that strangers are waving and saying hello. This is not so strange to most people but I read stuff into each day… from everything -everyday -all day. I love when people are kind. It totally makes my day but on a few occasions, it was over the top awesomeness. 4 or 5 bearded strangers on a couple of occasions have waved to me with big smiles.


Of course this is my illness talking now, but it seemed to me that they are on my side and wanting to encourage me in my journey, race, mission… what have you. It was just the help I needed on those instances as I was feeling defeated and like everyone was upset at me. As if I let everyone down. (In my mind people watch me as a kind of “Truman Show” take off). Yes, I see the crazy factor here… but it’s just there. What can I say? Anyways, it made me feel better, as if a cool drink of water was given to me in a parched desert about to die of thirst. Thank you, kind bearded strangers.

January 7, 2017


2017-01-07 01:34am

I think I will write a memoir…yes, I will


Today I have been mulling around some ideas. I signed up for a class on writing a memoir but I had no idea what I should write about. It has become clear to me that as much as this will hurt to rehash a…. challenge, a challenge I’ve gone through and still am enduring… it will be therapeutic to me and possibly helpful to some. That is, if I ever let anyone read it. But mostly it will help me look back at all that I have survived and the miracle that I am alive and doing so well in spite of it all.


If I will go back to 1989, remember the following 28 years that I have blocked from my daily memory, will I survive the journey? What should I call it? Will I be able to find humor in it? I think so. Will I be able to bring a new understanding to mental illness? Why would I go back in time?


To learn.

To cry.

To heal.

To laugh.

To explain.

To question.

To give gratitude.

To bring the pain to the surface and become free in the process.

To talk with God about why.


Why did he do this to me? What did I do wrong? This is going to be harder than I imagined!  I am crying now just thinking about this. It is necessary. I won’t die, I will become stronger and the pain I release will be replaced with peace… the peace that is beyond understanding. The depths of my soul are about to be freed from the prison of deep-seated anguish, loneliness from not being understood except by my Jesus. He will meet me at the pages of this memoir, I pray.


Mar, I am always with you. This will be good. You will also laugh much. Your story is one of victory. One of strength and courage. You are … go ahead type it, mar…you are amazing. We love you very much and are rooting for you every step of the way. I will help you write your story. It is an incredible journey through your mental escalades. Yes, as in “The scaling of fortified walls using ladders, as a form of military attack.” This war is not only in your mind but also in the spiritual realm. You are not on the defense but on the offensive…attacking the enemy. We are with you, especially Mother…

Queen of all the angels.

Especially the warring angels who fight with you on your behalf…

This will be a story of victory untold. “Victory”. -A memoir by Mar it will be a best seller if you ever decide to write it and get it published You will. One day.

Book Idea

2016-12-29 12:08pm


Love wins!

Book Idea: Dreaming With One Voice ~ by Mar

I have a dream and I’d like to take you along as we together shake this dream into reality.  How did I come to this point in life?  How could I believe and know in my soul that He will come, and is here already, and that He will make all things new?  I will attempt to show you in this this little book where I came from and how I got here, why I believe in Him and Love Him with all my heart and I how I imagine our world as one.  One voice is all that is needed.  Let’s all get on the same page and dream a little dream of love.  It will take all of us working together with love, peace and a spirit of togetherness to usher in His Kingdom of Love.

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