Category: EPP Board Meetings Page 47 of 48

October 8, 2012

On October 8, 2012

I was too exhausted to log yesterday when I got home from the healing rooms…

Here’s a recap for me so I don’t forget all that God has done and is doing for me!

J and S prayed for me but before I go into what happened there, I’d like

to remind myself of the words spoken to me before while I was “soaking” and to be honest, shaking… I was so nervous! Ok, so while I was sitting in the middle of

the room, (weird as it was, it felt good) and a guy put his hand on my shoulder

and told me that he sees “Golden Boots” !!! I had no idea what that meant…

when I got home, I looked up the meaning of it and it is given to the best/most

highly scoring soccer members… so , I guess I’m scoring lots of points for our

team! Go God! Yay! Hopefully I can keep up the good work!

Next, someone said something about being a good steward (of time, talent,

treasure) So, what I’m hoping this means is that I can win the lotto and help

others financially through the hope center, daily bread, etc. Also, if I win lotto, I’d

have time to use to help develop my talent, (If you can call what I have talent! All

I can do is try my best!) Then, next someone told me that I am to be given much

wisdom to help me along my journey. That’s great news because, I have absolutely NO IDEA what all I am called to do, or how to even begin!

Also, in the main room before I went into the private room, I was told

“Freedom…. I see Freedom and chains broken!” I was so glad to hear that!

Loser Lucy is gonna be sad to see that! I’m loose to help bring God’s message to

the people who have no idea how awesome and powerful and loving God is.

How much God wants to adopt them, they already are adopted, but they just feel as if they are orphans still. They are self-defensive, sad and lonely… untrusting others because of all that they have gone through (like an orphan) and God just wants them to know he has adopted them, and they are heirs to the Kingdom. To be loved by God and cared for by God!

I am so happy to be able to be free from my bondage to mental illness and free to sing a new song about my daddy! You. Rock. GOD!

When I went into the private room next – S and J prayed for me for

about an hour! Some of what they told me is “health and abundance, abundance,

abundance is coming! God wants to give back to you 1000 fold in good things to make up for what the devil stole from me these last 24 years! That should be

INCREDIBLE! Thank you, God!

They prayed protection over me, to have angles watch over me from now on.

They prayed to get the spirit of fear to leave me alone and never come back, that

I have healing from the chemical imbalance and for that never to return. They also prayed for the negative side effects of the drugs/medicine I’ve been taking to be dissolved an to leave my body. That my neurons, cells, hormones, neurotransmitters, etc all become brand new. (I was so thirsty I felt like my body was eliminating all that junk and needed fluids to help with the garbage clean-up.) They really both did a spectacular job of praying for me… I can’t believe how awesome of an experience it was!

Next, S asked me to meditate on the Armor of God and Judy told me how

much I will be blessed if I start a one-year bible reading program. I plan to do just

that! Also, Judy invited me to her Friday morning small group. I am so glad, because J is a very mature and experienced Christian. I know that I am going

to love it! She also invited me to join the Lay-pastor hospital prayer team. That

which sounded right up my alley…. I’d love to empty out the hospital, but she said we can only pray for Vineyard patients and people that ask for prayer. We will wear a vest that says, VC- and on the back it says: Can I pray for you right now? So,we can pray for anyone that sees that and wants prayer. I am sooooooo excited to be able to be free mentally to volunteer and dip into my passion for God. I don’t need to be afraid that I ‘m not “managing” the illness and getting sick

because I am doing a lot of things for God. ( I always was always having to limit what I can do in the church.) So, PRAISE GOD! Thank you, thank you, thanks and thank you! I am so excited for my new freedom! I can’t even express here how much this means to me. Daddy, you are so good… I love you.

*** Oh, Mar, Mar, Mar… we are so happy for you. If you only knew how much the entire heavenly team is cheering for your victory over this chemical imbalance… Lucy is really sad, though…. Poor poor lucy…. (lol I’m joking here!) You are such a strong daughter, I think you are the strongest person alive, or ever has lived on Earth. You are so strong. You really should give yourself some credit. I know you don’t feel special, but just look back at everything you’ve gone through. And you come out so strong and still have your heart in tact. You are full of joy, even after all you’ve gone through.

You definitely deserve the golden boots and when you come up here after your

Earthly fight, you will win and wear the Golden Boots of Heaven- you are our champ!

Don’t do that, Mar… don’t look so confused and so uncomfortable with me giving you a little congratulations and gratitude. I know you don’t think you’ve done anything yet, but believe me, you have come a long way and the hardest, worst part is now over. It’s time to party, and have fun! Do you hear me? FUN, Mar… have FUN!!!

I’m smiling now, but I just don’t want to mess it up after coming so far. Please don’t let me mess it up. Help me sing a new song for your kids. Help me to accomplish what I came here to do. Don’t let me fail, daddy. I am only wanting to do what you want me to do, I know that is always the best route to take, but sometimes I don’t listen or do the opposite… I am not the best follower sometimes. I also eat too much and need help to lose the last 50 pounds….

Please help me!

Thank you, God for all you have so faithfully done for me. I know with every cell of my body that you are in control. You won’t let me fail. You see me through everything always. And I am so glad that you allow me to serve you in this way. You are so fun and awesome and I love you, Papacito! Please bless my dad here on earth. Dad is the reason I am able to trust you so much, My dad here on Earth is the most fun and great father anyone could ever have! Because of him, I Am equipped to trust YOU, God! So, please bless him and help him get healthy, fit, and happy. (me too)

Thank you, I loves Ya!

October 6, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On October 6, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Wow, it’s only been 2 days and it feels like years since I sat down and talked with

you. I just got back from Church and you’ll never believe (well of course, you

were there) but you will never know how awesome it was for me to hear S

tell me that she sees huge sissors cutting off what looked like an ad on a paper

with the vertical tabs on the bottom of the page with all my symptoms listed

(anxiety, mania, paranoia, ocd, insomnia, etc) and the sissors are cutting them all

off the paper and that you love me she said “He would sell everything to find

the pearl (me) and to purchase me”… or something like that … I think in the

bible it actually is for meant for us to sell everything to buy the pearl of great

price (God) … I’ll have to look that one up cause, I’m not sure.

Shirley also

prayed for me to have the spirit of fear and darkness to leave and joy and

happiness to fill me. Man, I needed that prayer! Tomorrow I’ll be going to an

appointment for a prayer session at our “Healing Room”. I believe

you have healed me, but I feel that I need to do this also… for good measure and

to experience it to know for sure and to rid me of my disbelief that I am finally

free!!! Free to love you without getting sick!!! I can hardly believe it! It still has

not sunk in… I will be able to live my life and worship you, Love you, Sing about

you, pray to you, read about you and healing others… all without getting g

SICK!!!! I am so excited! It seems too good to be true. It seems like I’ll be

getting my usual over-done spirituality, get sick and have DB tell me I did it to

myself because I didn’t : “Manage the Illness” It is all my fault that I overdid it with

church, etc and that I made myself unbalanced and sick.

That is my story for the

past 24 years. I can’t read the bible (According to Dr. C) All the way to

not being able to go to church, not being able to read about how you heal. .. not

able to watch videos about spirituality… without getting very unstable, paranoid, manic… etc. … that WAS my story.

Sad story. My new story? I am FREE, HEALED, and in LOVE with God! Thank you,

Jesus for healing me. Please be with me tomorrow at the healing room

appointment, and let’s be done with this illness forever. Let me help others be

liberated from their diseases and bring your glory to earth in some small way

through my songs. Please give me a song to sing and help me sing it well. Give

me the grace and love for others, to do your will and to just be the best person I

can possibly be.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! I am so excited to be starting

my new life. I am so glad you told S that you are with me when I’m alone.

Not just alone… I’ve been living almost as if I was dead. My spirit at one time

was so lost… I had no one to turn to, no one I could talk to and no one that

would understand. Who can you talk to about mental illness without being

thought as crazy, or that it was my fault for over doing it spiritually/religiously. But

you, … you got me through it all. You loved me and carried me when I could not

walk any longer. It was your footsteps in the sand… all those years. And I thank

you.

** *Mar, you are in for a blast of a life… you will be so happy with your new found

freedom from lucy and his attack on your mind. You will be free from paranoia…

can you believe that? Yes, you will be free of mania, insomnia, free of anxiety…

can you wrap your brain around that for a change?!!! Remember also what

S said about the stage… It’s is getting ready! WE are not there yet, the

wood is still needing painting, needs to be assembled, etc… do you hear what she

says? Yes, you are not crazy… we do have awesome plans for you on stage!!! ;0)

Can you believe that ? I will give you songs. I will play through you. You are my

instrument. My instrument of peace for the hurting world! You are going to be

so loved by the world. People will be healed through your songs. DO NOT

worry about your safety. I have a legion of angels protecting you. You are well

protected, Mar, and I will not let anyone EVER hurt you, no they wouldn’t dare

mess with my girl! GOD will protect you, Himself!

Wow, that is powerful, Daddy! Thank you so much! I love you so MUCH! I need

you SO MUCH! I am so excited! Man, o man! So much is happening… it is so

awesome! Thank you, thank you, THANKYOU!!! Daddy, daddy, daddy… I feel

your love in my forehead. It’s been there for almost a month or so. It is like a

calming presence and warm love. I just wanted to tell you that I am so glad to be

able to feel you with me. Thank you for your presence with me in such a tangible

way. Please keep it “on” for me to center and be at peace knowing you are with

me… as close to me as my breath and as lovingly in my mind. I had to put up with

muck-mind for so long. A mind I could not trust. A mind that tortured me.

Thank you for your presence and healing which I am so grateful to feel you so

near. Right in front on my forehead I feel you. Thank you, Daddy!

*** …so, are you ready for the lotto or is this too much goodness for one awesome girl to handle?

;0)

Ha! You’re so funny. Ha, ha,… that’s a “knee-slapper”… oh, I guess I could handle

more goodness from you. Of Course. Of Course! I have been waiting since

October 2008 to win… I’ve played the lotto every week, as you know… and I’ve

been patient… well, trying to be patient. You keep telling me I’ll win. Man – how

many times I would have won if each time I was told I’d win… lol. I think , no , I

know… yes, daddy. I think I’m ready for it! It is not too much goodness… and I

am just glad you are having fun with me. No, I really am glad because that means:

It will definitely be in your divine timing and divine goodness to even think of me-

little alone send such a blessing as allowing me and DB to have time to enjoy

life and be free of the chains to our jobs. Time to just jump into your love. Just

knowing that you love me is enough. I only want to share your love with others.

I want to sing about you and have a blast on the big stage! Help me play your

songs. Give me the right lyrics and chords, melody, rhythm, band members, and

laughs! Give me Joy like I’ve never felt and help me to share it with everyone I

meet!

*** Enjoy your evening with your honey. Just rest and take it all in. You will have

wonderful prayer meeting at the healing room tomorrow. I am with you and no

harm will come to you or the other people. Only goodness and blessings for

everyone involved. P is going to be a good friend to you, Mar. He is a lot of

fun and will help you on your journey. Now, go rest. You have a big day ahead of

you tomorrow. I love you and you are going to be a wonderful entertainer/

healer/musician/composer/daughter/wife/friend and

healthy worshiper free of mental disease. “Do you receive it?!”

why yes, yessss I do! And the children sang out AMEN! And so it is!

*** Just remember that lucy is just a pesky little fly. No longer can he hurt you.

He is not allowed to make you sick. He is banned from your mind. You are

healthy mentally, spiritually and soon you ‘ll also be your God-Given healthy

normal weight and physically be in great shape to dance and sing for hours on

end without getting tired. Just try to only eat when your stomach growls. That

is my signal to you to go ahead and fuel up with healthy foods. Fill up on my love

when you want to eat when not physically hungry. You are no longer to feel

alone and saddened by your illness… because you are healed! Just rest in that

and feel my love for you. It is more than you can handle. More than you can

imagine, Mar. You are loved dearly, and you are very

special to me.

October 4, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On October 4, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Still waiting for winnings to quit my job. Of course, I’ve once again been told by you… that I’ll win only to

NOT win… that’s ok, my little crying wolf- I still love you! Maybe this is some wild test I am under now?

I know that it will all work out. If I’m supposed to win I’ll win at the perfect time. If not, then God must have something better in store for me. His plan will come about it in Divine time and Divine Order- I strongly believe and am thrilled about that!

***Just remember:

You are my living enterprise, Mar, and I can NOT Fail! You are doing superbly

and I want to hear what your 3 little dreams/wishes would be for?

Humm, that is a hard question. I guess I’d like to have you arrange for the perfect

home for us to buy with the winnings… Something not too big, very

contemporary, airy and light with no time-consuming maintenance problems lined

up already. Something in a good neighborhood with friends to meet, overlooking

water maybe- with lots of room for home concerts with friends, room for a

guest room, art studio, music studio and exercise studio. Oh, and high cathedral

ceilings! How’s that for wish #1?

Ok #2 humm…. Ok, I pray for support from the Church in my assignment for

their stamp of approval in letting us play with many signs and

wonders like healing and conversions… lots of fun and support.

#3 hummm…. How about some help here in my weightloss… please help me

wait on your physical hunger signals. Remind me of the dream and give me

strength when Lucy tempts me with food when I’m not truly hungry.

Thank you! I an so glad to be on the journey, I want to let you know how much I

love you. You are so good to me. Thanks for lining up all this goodness for me.

was funny DK posted today the picture of an article stating that the chances for

getting killed on your way to get your lotto tickets is the same as winning! How

funny! I posted him that “I’ll take my chances.” How funny is that when I don’t

die but actually win! That will be a good laugh! Love both his cd’s and would

love it if they could play with me one of these days, once I get better and have

songs that will make a difference for the world… healing, and happy songs. DofU songs are in a genre that I could really see myself playing in the future. It

makes me so happy when I’m listening to them.

September 30, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On September 30, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Still expectantly waiting, God! Not sad, only glad that you love me. It was wild at Church today- they had prophetic word that You are doing something Great for our community and that it is going to be incredible! Oh, I wanted to jump up and tell them, we have no idea how awesome it is going to be! Not just for us – but the entire world shortly after that!!!!!! Yippee! We sang a beautiful song called “Turn your Eyes Upon Jesus” and it is “Public Domain” so I plan on using it… it’s a song for the world. I should look it up and learn it.

***, yes, it was you we were talking about in that prophetic word… they won’t know what hit them … the goodness of God is coming to invade!!! 😉

YEAH, I’m ready and can not wait to party with you, God! Just kidding with you, I can wait for your perfect timing.

Please don’t forget me.

:0)

September 29, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On September 29, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Man, o man- what a crazy life. I have not had one chance to write here, but I’ll try to remember the happenings since Wednesday. Well, we didn’t win lotto on Wednesday night. I’m ok with that, though. I believe that the time was not right or that Lucy made a bet with God. (Pappacito calls Lucifer “Lucy the pesky fly”) He bet three wishes (I know it sounds crazy and It may very well be?) his bet was that I would be upset that I didn’t win after Daddy told me I was going to win and to go ahead and be excited about it. Well, I just rolled with it knowing that God put it in my heart that I will still win sometime.

Then he asked me what I would want. My response: 1- To have a heart like Jesus and be able to heal people through music and also in person…. and “Do The Stuff” he did and MORE so that people will know Him and love him back. 2- That I can help usher in The Golden Age/God’s Kingdom to earth. 3-To be a genius. A Genius Lyricist, Genius Guitar, Uke Player, talented vocalist and Genius Improve Humor, and be in a great band.

So, I’m looking forward to those promises coming true! Late on Friday, I could not sleep and I cried out that I really want Daddy to heal me of BiPolar.

So, he said, ok, Mar… put your hands on your head. So I did that. Then I felt warmth in my hands and head. It lasted for about 3 minutes or so. I heard Him tell me that he healed me. I he also instructed me to continue my medicine so that I won’t be a bad example for others to quit their meds with out doctor supervision. He told me that I eventually will go off it but not for about a year or so. I need to make sure that the doctor agrees to that when next September comes around. He did insist on me that I take breaks. Cat-naps or just Silence. He said Silence is Golden and it clears the channel so I can hear Him more clearly. It is almost impossible to hear him over all the noise… just like it would be for anyone. I will definitely take time in my day to sit, or lie down, close my eyes and “take 5”. He told me that my brain especially needs this. So, I’ll relax, quiet down and listen for his words, rest in God’s love.

I also just a about a half an hour ago heard from Jesus and Daddy that I will win tonight… I laughed and said “Bring it!” . Then I scolded Him for crying wolf the past 4 years I’ve been told I’ll win!!! But, that’s ok because I will believe Him every time! If it doesn’t happen- it will later- I’m sure God has his reasons for teasing me (testing me?). He really is funny!

So, DB and I are going to go for a run in a few minutes, so I’ll need to put on some tennis shoes and drink some water. It’s been fun catching you up on everything. It will be even more fun to read later when all this stuff comes true!!! I’m just having so much fun here, it should be illegal to have so much fun! Love you, God! Any parting words?

*** oh, Mar… you make me laugh. You are so beautiful. Have a nice run with your hubby.

Thanks, Daddy- I think you are awesome and beautiful and incredible and all goodness inside and out!

September 26, 1012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On September 26, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I was so busy I missed writing yesterday so I’ll do a quick update and write more tonight. Had my 4th group lesson on uke at CFA… more awesomeness to my week! I learned barre chords and how to change the key I’m in… not sure I understand completely but M said he would be able to give me private lessons after our class ends! Yay! Also, he said that we may be able to get a jam session in with our class to play songs as a group. How kewl and awesome is that?!!!! So, today at 4 I’ll be meeting up with DK for some sipping of visions of iced latte. ;0) He’s going to help me write songs! Yippee, I could pee my pants I’m so happy! You lined it all up so well for me, God! I can never thank you enough for all you’re doing for me!!!! And today is another day filled with your goodness. And yes,… I am still expectantly waiting with a huge grin on my face… can we please win the Powerball tonight? You are the most incredible God and I trust your plan for my life…. If I win- when I win—it will be on your time, in your grace and protection of making sure it is only for all good. So I can share it with the community and get time to learn, play, write songs for YOUR KINGDOM! You rock, Kewl King and I can’t wait to form a band: KEWL KING And HIS ETERNAL PARTY Yessss, that’s what I’m talkin’ bout! Jam on!!! Ok, I’z gotta get to work… end of the month and the I needs to pay some bills… sure do wish I had some more time for all this.,.. (hint, hint) I lovez you!!!! Don’t want to stop writing but I have so much to do before I meet D- Just a little work, laundry, cleaning, bills, shower, and I’d love to somehow get a run in too!!! (and where is the time to practice Ukelele?) Oh Lordy, please give me some more time… I hate rushing around like I got my head chopped off… Can we win tonight, Daddy? You’re so awesome, Pappacito! Te amo!

September 24, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On September 24, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Ok, so I have been so busy this weekend I have not had a minute to gather my thoughts about this weekend for you. Saturday when you had the girl give me your prophetic word (the fly will be gone soon!!!) and that we prayed for you to show me great things this week and you did not even wait more than 5 hours to show me your power!

Ok, so- first you had us walk right past DK (who I thought moved to New Orleans) He agreed to help me learn uke and with writing songs!!! He is quite a character and I’m looking forward to learning a lot and starting a band soon (dad said he would be my drummer). Maybe he would like to be in “Kewl King” band with me and dad and whoever God thinks would be a good fit. Yes, Jesus, YOU are my Kewl King who I love and worship!!! You are so awesome, amazing and Kewl!!! So, you really out did yourself in lining up my run- in with D! He had a cd for me and I absolutely love it… the music is so fun, I danced to it for about a half a hour and read his lyrics which are really well done. I love all the songs on the cd! I love the video he made and he also did the amazing artwork, I am guessing he did it? Wow, what a wonderful dream that I have coming into formation right before my eyes, man o man, you haven’t missed a beat in your goodness to me! So that was Saturday night right after I went to church and was prophetically prayed over! Sunday, you lay a beautiful day of music with my Dad at PW Nursing Home. He is so good to play nursing homes, I think I’d love to play at nursing homes to get some experience playing in front of other people. Then, last night, I got an email from AXO’s local chapter looking for volunteers to help out! I was just thinking how fun it would be to work with the house here! Hopefully it works out and I have fun doing it. It only takes a couple hours a month, so I’m psyched about it!

So, once again, God, you are too good to me! I wonder what the rest of the week will have in store! How about some kind of lottery winnings? ;0) Oh, I ask too much. You blessed me in so many ways, Lord! I just want to say thank you so much! Please help me Wednesday when I meet up with D at a café. Help me with my words and just please let your spirit be on me as I have my first lesson/meeting. I think it would be cool if everything works out- to have Kewl King include D. He would be such an added help with all aspects of being in a band- I don’t know what I’m doing!!! I really need a talented person to help me out. I pray that you make it all work out the exact way that you want it to work out. Don’t let me mess it up!

Daddy,… papacito,…. I love you, I love you, I love you! (and I love you more each day!) Help me spread the love around! Talk to you tomorrow?

*** no, Mar… let me just say one thing to you… (you didn’t give me a chance to get a word in edge-wise!) lol, just joking. You are really in for a wild ride and it’s going to be an awesome ride!!! Don’t worry about anything. I will protect and love you. My angels are all around you watching your every step and prepared to deliver you from any harm. You have earned through your trust in Jesus that Satan can not touch you. You may be irritated by that fly, but just know that all you need to do is pray in the name of Jesus, “Satan- get behind me.” Your mental illness is just a pesky fly. People you think are evil, when you feel scared – just remember that they are a little slow. (a lot of dumbness going on!) Know that they are terrified of your band “Kewl King” (I love that name of your band ) and really are shaking in their boots… laugh at them!!! (that drives them batty) Laugh and laugh and laugh and sing your songs, Mar. Sing your songs and laugh till you cry! It’s a joyous time for Earth right now and you will help them laugh with you (D is a blast, too! You two will have quite a celebration party going on!)

I can’t wait, God!!! Thanks, Daddy. I love you so much. Words just don’t express, but I know you can feel my heart. (that’s where you reside, right!!!) You know me and I hope to be closer to you, God. Can you please remind me to pray in all instances. You are powerful and you hear my prayers. I know. I know you will lead me in each minute. Help me to not let you down. Let your spirit work in me and through me. Come, Holy Spirit, Come! Rain down on me! You Reign!!! I Love you so… never let me go!

September 21, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On September 21, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

Sorry I didn’t get a chance to log yesterday, but man-o-man, what a wild day it was! I prayed for a priest for healing when I went there for healing and God used me to pray for him!!! Wow, that was exciting. He then anointed me for the sacrament of healing for the sick and I was also able to receive the holy communion which I haven’t been able to get for over 4 months! (I was very ill and too unstable mentally to go w/o crying.) I really missed that and plan on maybe bi monthly or weekly short mass on Wednesday morning mass. I think it will really grace my walk and help me in many ways.

I then went to Lenscrafters and found out that I will have 20/15 vision with my new glasses and that I do not need bifocals yet, YAY me!!! I then had a great time with visitors, H and his son D –we went to their favorite place to go when they come down from for a visit. I enjoyed pizza and their company… went for a tour of campus for D, he’s looking at coming down here for college. That would be awesome! He’s a great kid, H should be very proud. (I should tell him that!) Then the best part…. We walked around downtown and ran into DK of DofU – talked briefly. Turns out he did not move to New Orleans and would be glad to help me out with lessons and song writing assistance/ lessons. How cool is that?!!! I think he has a lot of talent in music and also artistically. He also seems like a lot of fun to hang out with, crazy kind of like me, He invited me to meet up with him any day 3-7 he’ll be at one of two café’s and told me to just message him on facebook the day before to set a meet-up for a lesson at a café! I think God really had a hand in perfect timing because I just got his latest cd from the library yesterday and had just finished listening to the entire cd! (literally about 3 hours before we ran into each other.) so, yes, I do believe there is no such thing as a coincidence… it’s more like a God-incidence! So, I’m really looking forward to learning with D and hope it all goes well.

In regard to today, I had an awesome time after the service at church tonight. I asked God to give a prophetic word to me through someone on the prayer team. told me that God is reaching down as I’m reaching up. That he loves me so much she felt an incredible warm feeling that she said He feels for me- it touched her so much she teared up as she told me about it. She also said that there is something like a pesky fly over her shoulder that can be flicked aside- that it was not a big huge scary thing. (my illness is what I heard is the fly) then she asked me what she needs to pray for and I felt ok to share. I told her chemical imbalance. She prayed a quick prayer and I said to her that I still feel the problem is so big and heavy that I need more faith that I can be healed. She prayed for me to have God show me this week in many instances how much he loves me. (more God-Incidences?) I’m excited to see what God has in store for me!!!

So, God, I thank you so much for an awesome weekend!!! And tomorrow is Sunday and am looking forward to another wonderful day with you. Please help me calm down and sleep well tonight. Last night I was so happy and filled with your love… I couldn’t sleep until 4:30 a.m. good thing you helped me sleep in until 10:30 so I enjoyed a good day w/o being too sleepy.

*** Mar, you know that I love you and I just wanted to make sure you remembered that I am with you and also that you will be taken care of. You don’t need to worry about the “fly”… just remember that I (God) am so much bigger than Satan and that we will heal you soon. Just hang in there. D will pray for you. Tell her your story about what happened in T. Tell her everything. Tell her about drugs, H and what happened there, tell her about Unity and the meditations – religious spirits??? What is that? (Dl was talking about that and I’m not sure about that!) And tell her especially about your trip to the retreat and how when you gave your life to me… tell her how mental illness overtook you and that you’ve struggled with it since then… 1989.-23 long years. It is time to let it go. It is time to be healed, Mar. D will know exactly what to do. You can trust her. Just ask her to please not announce it or talk about it. Tell her you feel very self-conscious about it and that you would really love it if she could keep it confidential.

Then, Mar- I would like you to send her flowers as a thank you with a nice note. I’ll help you write the note. You will be healed and free of your illness, but don’t stop taking the zyprexa for a year. You can lower it with Dr W… over time and then if all goes well, taper off it completely. This will take about a year. You have me in charge of your life. You asked me to manage your life on that day in 1989 and it may not seem like it, but I have been with you through your ups and downs. I helped get you through so many things and I ‘ve been with you in your pain. It saddened me to no end, and I just want you to know that I am soooooo proud of you. You have come such a long way. You really are a champion! I love you so much, kiddo…. and I thank you that you never forgot me. You never thought I didn’t love you and you never got mad at me. You are truly my beloved daughter, in whom I am well pleased. I love you, Mar.

Oh, my Lord, daddy, I love you so much and am so humbled that you would say those things. Who am I that you should love me that much? I feel so glad to hear you say that and thank you for verifying it tonight at church with the woman who had tears telling me how much you love me. Please help her know also how much you love her. Please reach out to her tonight in some way let her not be sad… I felt like she maybe wished that for her. I know you love her just as much if not more… all your children need to know how much you love them. Help me spread the word in some powerful way. Your children need to know first hand how much you love them. I trust and know in my heart that you will show them soon. May I be in any service to assist, please use me.

Ok, so, also I had this wonderful dream yesterday morning… after all that’s happened since then, I almost forgot to tell my morning pages… I don’t want to forget any of this! Ok, so I awoke from a dream. Mind you, I do not have any bible passages memorized with their chapter/verse with it. I had no idea what it said in John 16… so , in my dream, I was being interviewed on a radio station because of the miracles that were happening at our concerts and radio stations around the world. I was telling everyone how much Jesus loves them, died for them, and heals them. I was sharing that Jesus came for everyone. Whoever comes to him, he invited to relationship with him and the Father. Then, I saw a couple from China who had 4 girls dressed up in dresses. They were holding their parents hands and looked happy to be hearing the good news. Then in my dream, DB told me to read John 16. I said “What?” and he repeated John 16 again (with an exaggerated voice – to be sure that I read it) so, of course when I awoke right after that, I went to my bible and read: 1 John 16 “All this I have told you so that you will not fall away. 2 They will put you out of the synagogue; in fact, the time is coming when anyone who kills you will think they are offering a service to God. 3 They will do such things because they have not known the Father or me. 4 I have told you this, so that when their time comes you will remember that I warned you about them.”

Well, I read it, thought about it and said to my other journal in my Class notebook: Lord, if you can use me, then whatever you want- I want. No matter the cost. Please help me be who you want me to be. I offer my life to you in service to you and your children. Lord, I ask that you work great miracles and bring all of your children home to you… you amaze me! And I will not hold back because of John 16… you amaze me & I will shout it from the roof tops that you amaze me and that you alone are to be worshiped. May your Glory Reign!!! You are my King. I believe only in you! I offer my life to you… let’s ROCK this WORLD! It’s party time!!! :0) You are one Kewl King!!!!

Thank you for this weekend- so far it’s been a stellar weekend. The best I’ve ever had because you showed me so clearly your love for me, and you told me to have hope and be of good cheer! Jesus will heal me and my life is just going to be getting better and better each day. I am so in love with you and so in love with my divine mission. Help me be who you want me to be. Help me think what you want me to think, help me laugh at Satan, “the knat fly”. Please help me have enough time, energy, resources, love and compassion to do this work. Lord, I ask that you help me have a good night’s sleep. Protect me in my sleep and guide me into sweet dreams. Help me be refreshed and feel your presence again tomorrow as I’ve felt your loving warmth the last two days. I love feeling your love in my forehead and hands (where Fr. anointed me with oil) Please keep close to me and send your angels to be with me always. Guide my steps and keep watch over my mind, so that the deceiver is no longer welcome to confuse me and lead me astray or paranoid. Heal me, Lord. I love you so much! Thank you for your love. I really, really, really dig it!!! You are amazing and awesome! Amen, night God.

September 18, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On September 18, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I am sorry I missed writing to you two days in a row… just know that I’ve been thinking about you and talking with you in my heart all along. But I know it is not as good as documenting our discussions so I can reread them and see how far you’ve brought me. So, Sunday I saw your wonderful movie “Father of Lights”… it was so exciting to hear you tell me that this is only the small glimmer of what’s to come! Thank you, God! How amazing it is and is going to be even better! What I need to talk with you about is the woman that interpreted my dream about the worms in my nightmare that I kept stomping on and how they split open and then got whole again where I could not get rid of them. The woman, D, prayed with me and interpreted it for me as something that keeps coming back. She showed me that my mental illness keeps coming up and I want to rid it from me. She and I talked awhile and I had a hard time letting her pray for me because I kept thinking (from my illness) that she was trying to curse me somehow… I was paranoid that she would make things worse for me. We decided and agreed that I need someone trained to pray for me. I am willing to do just about anything to be healed from this. It’s plagued me since I was 20 years old… living in T. SO, I plan on asking D if she and maybe one or two other people would be willing to pray for me- for freedom from this illness. I would like it to be kept quiet. I don’t want my name mentioned at a church service or other video taped class… or even for it to get around. I am really self-conscience over it and don’t want people to know about it. It is not something I want to get around. It is private business in my mind. I hope I can be relieved of this illness. And I would love to be able to be more active in the church… up until now I can’t because it makes me paranoid and sick when I am out of balance. I would love to jump right into every church event, I really can’t get enough… healing classes, and all the wonderful events, small groups, etc. please help me get better so I can learn to be a better person for you and for me. I want and need all the help I can get to become the person I want to be and I need a miracle to become the person you want me to be. Please help me, Lord!

Daddy, papacito- I love you and I trust that you know what you are doing. You know what I need and have lined up everything that needs to be done. I appreciate it and ask that you help me find your will and give me the strength to do your will. Help me be who you want me to be, Daddy. I feel so weak. I am so afraid that I’ll get sick again just by trying to get healed. Please give me strength the next couple weeks while people pray for me that I can be set free from mania, bi-polar and the schitzo-affective illness that I suffer from. Free me! I beg you to heal me, Daddy. I need your help!!! There is no good that can come from this illness anymore, daddy. If it had any good in it, which I believe it saved my life from those people in T, I believe that the use for this illness is over. I am no longer benefiting from this illness and in the name of Jesus’, set me free from it! I am strong and will get through this. You are my strength, Lord… I’m excited to see what you will do for me. I am thrilled to be in such a supportive and spirit-filled church. Use DL, and whoever you recommend, to help free me. But Lord, I ask that you bless them- the people that will pray for my deliverance from this illness…. Bless them more than they can imagine. Help me bless them.

*** Mar, you are in good hands. I will have a group of people pray for you that are filled with the Holy Spirit and I promise you that they will not be harmed. (I know you worry about them being hurt by your problem). There is nothing that the devil can do to them by them helping you. I myself, I God, will protect all who pray for you and I will personally come to them and bless them, their family along with you and your family. You will be delivered with healing and freedom from mental illness! How about that, Mar?

Oh my Lord, thank you so much!!! That is wonderful news… I can’t wait for it. Please help me during the prayers to be faith-filled, courageous, strong and grateful for all you are doing in my life and our church. Thank you for allowing me into your kingdom. Help me be a light that is not hidden. Make me shine bright for all to see your glory. Give me words to speak that are faithful, humble, grateful, good and holy. Help me to stop sinning by thoughts, words, or deeds that are not under your will. Please make me “righteous” in your sight and wash me clean of the dirt I’ve gotten into. Please make me whiter than the fresh snow, please forgive me for getting dirty, papa, I love you and want only to be holy for you and your will for me. I know in my own efforts, I am not clean and only through you and your grace, Jesus’ passion when he was on the cross… thank you, God, am I made whole!

September 14, 2012

By RSVP to the Eternal Party!

On September 14, 2012

In EPP Board Meetings

I only have a few minutes before dad comes to pick me up. I just wanted to thank you for the words that your daughter said to me first thing in the meeting… she said “God is really happy with the way you are expectantly waiting!” Wow, God, You are “HAPPY” with me… how awesome of a word could that be for me! Thank you so much for that! You answered my prayer from yesterday!!! You are so good to me!!!!!!! I really appreciated that she was bold enough to tell me such great news, that you are not only happy with me, but that it is ok for me to still hope for you to help me be who you want me to be, that you are still planning on what, though? The lotto, that it’s ok for me to be expectantly waiting for a turn around in my finances, time, energy and entire life to start turning around?!

***Yes, I really like the way you expectantly wait and trust on me and my time, my way, and my lotto! Ha! That you keep faithfully buying weekly tickets – since 2008, no less! You are so faithful, you never quit thinking you may win… oh and you will! I will give you time and energy in addition to finances… I will equip my girl for her purpose in her life, and know again that you are my living enterprise and God cannot fail! So, again, Mar, thank you for not worrying and for continually giving up your thoughts of lack to me. I will repay you for all that you have gone through. I will restore you and take away all your pain. I love you and am so happy with all you are doing!

Thank you, thanks God! I really, really appreciate it. I’m trying to take it all in. Waiting has become something I’m trying to learn- patience. Thank you for helping me with patience and humility. I think I have been very proud in some of my thinking and you have such good intentions, winning money without some difficulty may have made me not so grateful. But, man, I think I’m ready to humble myself and be so relieved when I start to see things lining up more and more for your purpose in my life. I do hope and am waiting expectantly for funds to start flowing into my account. Money that will give me time to work for you instead of my usual clients here on earth. Lord, would you please let me win soon! Then I can dedicate 100% of my energy, time, life and start your company since I am your living enterprise -amen.

Xo kiss, hug and I love you, God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit!