How’s it going? I am so tired today! I think this will have to be a short meeting tonight. I don’t really know what to say except that I am looking forward to Christmas! We’re having everyone (10 of us!) over for pasta and deserts. Mom is making most of it, and I’ll just make a salad and garlic bread to go along with her pasta. There is going to be so much food in the next 3 days! She wants to get together (focusing on way too much food) for deserts on Sunday, dinner on Monday, then Christmas: brunch and then dinner over here. I hope I can pace myself and try to under eat since it will all be such rich foods. That is the only thing about the holidays, there is way too much food – foods that I normally try to stay away from. It makes me a little stressed out to have so much laid out for almost a week (with leftovers). It takes away the true meaning of Jesus’ birthday when all you’re doing is preparing, cooking and cleaning and then repeating non-stop dining for 3 days straight.
When mom asked if everyone could come over here, she said it would be for Sunday before Christmas Eve and would just be 8 of us getting pizza delivered. Then it moved to Christmas dinner for 10 of us and then she wanted a sit down dinner with her baked pasta, salad and garlic bread then desert….. It just kept getting more and more until now, I just don’t care how it turns out. I can’t stress over it. The pressure is that she makes everything so formal and perfect. No way I can compete. I guess I’ll get out the china and silver. It will be fun. It will be nice and it won’t be a big deal. (I keep telling myself.) I just need to relax. It will all be ok. Christmas traditions of eating so much just wears on me by the end of it all. It puts me in a bad mood and that’s the last thing I want at Christmas. This year will be different! I will take breaks and I am determined to have a good time and enjoy myself and enjoy DB and enjoy the gatherings! So, help me, God.
***lol, I’m laughing, Mar, because you are not the only one that feels this way! Most people feel that way when they try to be perfect hostesses over the holidays. The stress is not worth it, but just appease your mom this year. Next year, we can figure out a plan if you want to try something different. Maybe not have so many big meals planned. Your sister has an additional meal(s) with the in-laws. It’s the American way! Lol. Take time the next 3 days to be silent and talk with me. Listen especially and meditate to relax. Try it now for 5 minutes. I’ll wait. … didn’t that feel good? Yes, I thought it would. Leave the room periodically to a quiet place and rest a little every couple of hours. When you are tired, you get a little stressed which makes you say things in a tone that you wouldn’t normally say. Slow down. Breathe. Smile. Take your time and don’t let anyone push you around. Just ignore when you are being spoken to in a controlling manner. Just know you will be home soon and free of the stress.
Enjoy yourself. Not everyone has family and few have as wonderful and loving of a family as you do. You are blessed and I know you know it, but just remind yourself when it gets to be too much. Come to me. Rest in my love. You are going to have the best Christmas ever! Your new dosage will allow you to think more clearly and quickly. You will be more like yourself this year then previous years because of the lower dosage. You can handle more now than ever before. Test it out. You will be amazed.