Time is surely on her side
Time goes by
Silently waiting they wonder why
Every day the same deny
Inside still
Alive with a chill
Coming to senses
Growing defenses
Run this race
No need to chase
She’s in the lead
Look at her speed.
Author: RSVP to the Eternal Party! Page 15 of 54
2017-02-12 10:17pm
Good Things are definitely coming!
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Great things are happening! God is making mighty moves on us. Yesterday, His spirit was with us as we prayed for healing outside the Christian Bookstore! It was my first community healing experience. I was so nervous to go. I prayed the whole way over there for His presence to be with us and for His healing power to come powerfully. It was amazing!
A woman walked towards us saying that she could really feel something when she came near. Three of us prayed for her as she teared up. She was so grateful for us to pray for her. I asked her if she had any pain. She had a whole left side that was in pain and she went to the doctor yesterday. They couldn’t help her, she explained. We asked if she would sit down because sometimes one leg is longer than that of the other one. Well, it was almost an inch longer than her right leg! We prayed and they got into alignment in front of my eyes, the right leg grew to match the left! I prayed that the pain would stop and never return. She said the pain went all the way down to a one out of ten and she wanted to stretch later at home to get it completely gone. Wow! That was my first community healing experience.
We had about 3 ladies that all wanted prayer for various things and so we prayed with them. One of those ladies was a profit, she told us- and she had a word for ME! She said I need to start thanking God for what he is about to do, what he has already done in the supernatural and that I should stop asking and start thanking him. She said that 2017 is going to be the year of God’s move in my life. All that I’ve been asking for, she said, is already on its way to me! What is so awesome about that is that I really wanted to ask for a word of knowledge all afternoon… God answered my prayer! I was so thankful to her, I gave her a hug and I am just so happy that God came through big time for me yesterday.
I even got to see my friend, RW, who was there by big surprise to me! Thank you, God, for your presence, your love, and your tender care! Thank you that 2017 is the year you answer my prayers… and I pray for your will be done in my life. I pray that I don’t miss my destiny. I pray for a studio… ShamRock Studios, Eternal Party People and this creative outlet for you to help usher in your Mighty Kingdom. You are holy. You are guiding my life and I pray that I be courageous in sharing you with the people I meet. Thank you for your healing power, your love and for always knowing what is going down. You know all that is happening in my life and you guide me through it all. Help me be who you want me to be. Help me help you save souls. You are the greatest dad in all the universes and your love is unending. Thank you that your will is being done, your Holy Will endures forever. Your Kingdom come, Your Will be Done on EARTH as it is in HEAVEN! Amen!
Something good is going to happen… I can feel it!
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Time is moving swiftly these days. Time has flown by. It seems as if I bought my first lottery ticket yesterday. It’s been 9 years of faithful and constant games of Mega Millions and Powerball every Tues, Wed. Friday and Saturday… each floating ball had a destiny to be my numbers. Every game. For 9 years. Prayers. Hopes. Belief that I will win… every game. That is not truly 100% accurate, but I would guess 99% of the time, I looked at the numbers in disbelief! How could I be wrong in my thinking?
The ticket is tucked away at the Safe Box at the Bank. I drove to Indiana to get the tickets since Illinois may be giving out “IOUs”. They don’t pay their winners in theory. I called the Illinois Lottery and asked them point blank if they are paying their winners. He couldn’t assure me and said that he couldn’t comment on that. Oh my. So, the 45-minute drive each way once a month was our tradition for quite a while. I will not give up. We win as long as we don’t give up. I am hopeful. Just the same as always… Who knows, maybe tonight I’ll win the big jackpot. If not, that’s ok with me. God knows what he is doing. God’s got this.
We are looking at a home… my dream home. It was for sale and now has a pending offer. I’m praying that God will give the buyers a job offer with a big pay increase somewhere far away so they change their mind. That or let the bank change their mind on the loan. Either way, I would be thrilled. That house would be another kind of Lottery. Let me tell you about this house. It is amazing! It has two courtyards: One in the front and another in the back. So the house has this fortress like fence all around the home. The house has a wall of windows and the living are is open to the roof with a half second story. It is beautiful and has a soundproof room over the garage for recording! The basement is perfect for recording also and the huge living are and courtyards would be perfect for house shows/parties that would be a blast to offer to local and touring bands.
In my mind, I would love to shake my dreams into reality. Miracles, signs and wonders… video taped and start ushering in God’s Kingdom with music! I am not sure how all will be revealed or what will all happen. I only know it is going to be incredible! I can hardly wait! If the house is sold, it just wasn’t meant to be. One day, I will build a home just like it if that’s the case. God will make it all come true. Thank you, God! Thank you, Jesus! You are amazing and wonderful and I could never tell you enough how much I love you and adore you! Help me. Help you save souls.
Please don’t let me miss my destiny. Please bless my efforts and make me into the person you know I will one day become. I am growing and learning every day. Show me your will. Help me have the courage to do whatever you ask. Help me kill my will; my flesh is in need of new management! I need your will to be done in my life. Help me heed to your leadings.
2017-02-08 10:45pm
Ending is BEGINNING!
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Welcome to the End of Time… Where you’ll find… Miracles happen all the time! The beginning is near! The end will wash away all evil from the world… the Eternal Party is about to begin! Here I am, Lord! Let the party invitations go out to the entire world. I’m just one person. I can’t put this all together, but you can! Here I am. Lord, Send ME! Help me do this right, please. Show me what all needs to be done. Thank you for your patience with me. Let all your children come home and live with you, Love you and Laugh with you for all eternity. I love you!
2017-01-29 10:35pm
Father, Jesus, Holy Spirit… help me help you save souls!
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Thank you, Dad, that you are in control and have all things planned for your children. There is so much evil in the world. Only Jesus can make all things right. Come Lord, Jesus, bring your light and love to the world. We need your love, your peace and your will to be done on Earth. Thank you that you can use me in whatever way you decide is best.
I ask you… Lord, send me! Use ShamRock Studio, Eternal Party People, Inc. and our lives for your glory. Save all your children from the grips of the evil one. Let all see your light. Wake up your children from their slumber. Help me get your invitations to the Eternal Party out to the world and let everyone in their heart say, “YES! I choose you, God!” Let Jesus touch their hearts, Lord. Let all your plans come to pass exactly as you want it to unfold.
Dad, I pray that the dreams you placed in my heart come true in accordance to your holy will! I am your living enterprise and God cannot fail! Help me help you save souls. Bring your entire family of children home. Use me to help show your love and share your laughter, joy, peace, provision and concern for your children. Bring your music to earth with all your miracles, signs and wonders to break this dream into a reality.
May all people see your power and know your love for them. Please make ShamRock Studio your home for your most Holy Spirit through me and all the artists that come for a visit. May miracles break through for a revival unknown of before, a habituation of your love… not just a visitation… a habitation of your will and spirit to cover the ends of the earth!
Please get me into your will and not to miss out on your lead. Help me obey. Help me hear and heed your word. I am sorry for being so rebellious and stubborn. Help me obey your lead in all things and especially in the “small” leanings you give to me to help me lose the weight. Please bless Gwen and please help me stay on track. I need your help in this endeavor. I am sorry that it is so hard for me, when I know your leanings and then do my way instead. I am so sorry. Help me wait for your growl and leading to eat and please help me follow you. Your ways are the best! I am so weak. Please give me the strength to get this right before you.
2017-01-10 09:56pm
The odds are for me
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Thank you, God, that the odds are for me. In the “natural” it does look like it. As the years go by, I feel more and more defeated but I never give up on you! My dreams, and my hopes of winning the lottery, building ShamRock Studios and Eternal Party People… we are ready to rock! You are in control and New York cannot stop your plans. I ask in Jesus’ name. Father, please Guide the following numbers to float up at the right time: I am your living enterprise. Use me, Lord! Send me! I come to do your will. I am asking, seeking, and knocking on your door.
Every father knows to give good gifts to their children… how much more would my Heavenly Father who has all things under his control… you can Do whatever you please. You bless your children with so many good gifts. Thank you so much for all that you have given me! Mental stability, loving family, all our material needs and most of our “wants” – you provide for me in all that I need when I need it. Thank you that the odds are for me in the lotto because when you want something… you get it! All you need to do is breathe that into reality with a second of your intent. I believe. Your daughter has this request, but most importantly I pray for my dad’s health to be restored with a new and healthy heart. Please send your angel with a new heart for him. I love you, Father God! Thank you, Cheers! ~mar
2017-01-09 08:38pm
Strange little light and some unexpected greetings
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I am so ready for sunshine and warm weather again. I pray that spring comes sooner then expected. Tomorrow should be better and the next even better but freezing returns this weekend. I’d love to go for a long walk tomorrow if there is a break in the rain. I don’t know what to write about as you can tell by the weather report I just gave… sorry. Lol.
I’m going to be honest here for a minute. I had a few odd things happen in 2016 that I need to think about, pray over to get some kind of understanding. I don’t want to be weird here, but some strange things (strange to me) have happened that I would like to journal so I don’t forget and so I understand more about my illness… it’s symptoms, or truth in odd circumstances? The first is more supernatural than the following one I will tell a little about.
I have a long list of happenings to share. For now I will focus on 2016 oddities. The one that I most distinctly remember happened in this past summer. It was hot and full of mosquitoes that evening around dusk out back on the deck. I was enjoying the last of the sunset and view of the lake (pond) with the ducks nowhere to be seen. They must have gone in for the night… wherever that was, I don’t know. The lake is about a mile from the house I grew up on. I could never have guessed that I would be moved right back here in my late forties, if you told me when I was in high school. But anyways, it’s my “back yard” now and I love the quiet and serene peaceful home we have.
So, as I was looking over the lake and enjoying everything about it except the hungry mosquitoes, a bright but small golden light floated towards my side of the lake! It was about 50 feet to my right and about the same distance out. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I watched it move happily (it seemed to skip) across the lake and it appeared to maybe even know my delete in watching it! I opened the glass door and yelled, “Hey, you’ve got to see this!” “See what?” he snapped. “Come here… you won’t believe this… hurry before it’s gone,” He slowly made his way off the couch to come take a look. He saw it too! “Wow, huh…” he said unexcitedly. I asked him what he thinks it is; do you see this, too? He did. The cheerful little golden …bright as a led flashlight, tiny ball of love kept coming across the lake. Andy went back inside little impressed and irritated with the vampire bugs.
I watched it a few more minutes until it went between our building and the next. It was so odd, I don’t have any explanation. Other than knowing that in the Bible God is the “Father of Lights”, so this is probably just his way of saying hello!
The next oddity I can think of in 2016 that happened is that strangers are waving and saying hello. This is not so strange to most people but I read stuff into each day… from everything -everyday -all day. I love when people are kind. It totally makes my day but on a few occasions, it was over the top awesomeness. 4 or 5 bearded strangers on a couple of occasions have waved to me with big smiles.
Of course this is my illness talking now, but it seemed to me that they are on my side and wanting to encourage me in my journey, race, mission… what have you. It was just the help I needed on those instances as I was feeling defeated and like everyone was upset at me. As if I let everyone down. (In my mind people watch me as a kind of “Truman Show” take off). Yes, I see the crazy factor here… but it’s just there. What can I say? Anyways, it made me feel better, as if a cool drink of water was given to me in a parched desert about to die of thirst. Thank you, kind bearded strangers.
2017-01-07 01:34am
I think I will write a memoir…yes, I will
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Today I have been mulling around some ideas. I signed up for a class on writing a memoir but I had no idea what I should write about. It has become clear to me that as much as this will hurt to rehash a…. challenge, a challenge I’ve gone through and still am enduring… it will be therapeutic to me and possibly helpful to some. That is, if I ever let anyone read it. But mostly it will help me look back at all that I have survived and the miracle that I am alive and doing so well in spite of it all.
If I will go back to 1989, remember the following 28 years that I have blocked from my daily memory, will I survive the journey? What should I call it? Will I be able to find humor in it? I think so. Will I be able to bring a new understanding to mental illness? Why would I go back in time?
To learn.
To cry.
To heal.
To laugh.
To explain.
To question.
To give gratitude.
To bring the pain to the surface and become free in the process.
To talk with God about why.
Why did he do this to me? What did I do wrong? This is going to be harder than I imagined! I am crying now just thinking about this. It is necessary. I won’t die, I will become stronger and the pain I release will be replaced with peace… the peace that is beyond understanding. The depths of my soul are about to be freed from the prison of deep-seated anguish, loneliness from not being understood except by my Jesus. He will meet me at the pages of this memoir, I pray.
Mar, I am always with you. This will be good. You will also laugh much. Your story is one of victory. One of strength and courage. You are … go ahead type it, mar…you are amazing. We love you very much and are rooting for you every step of the way. I will help you write your story. It is an incredible journey through your mental escalades. Yes, as in “The scaling of fortified walls using ladders, as a form of military attack.” This war is not only in your mind but also in the spiritual realm. You are not on the defense but on the offensive…attacking the enemy. We are with you, especially Mother…
Queen of all the angels.
Especially the warring angels who fight with you on your behalf…
This will be a story of victory untold. “Victory”. -A memoir by Mar it will be a best seller if you ever decide to write it and get it published You will. One day.
2017-01-06 06:08pm
Florida Shootings
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Dear Jesus, I am so tired of the violence, evil and hatred that is so prevalent in the world. Please help all who are involved and heal their wounds: Physical, mental and spiritual wounds. Please send each person some special love, healing, blessings and a touch of your presence tonight for all the people that were at the airport today, all the police and victims. I offer a special prayer for the shooter who is mentally ill and just got back from Iraq.
Please stop the terror and help us deal with making the world a better place. Show us what we each can do and Jesus, please soon come with your powerful love and heal our broken hearts. Bring your peace and light up our world with your life-giving saving grace. We need you. Show me what I can do to help. I will do your will, make me your hands, feet, mouth and I want to be used as your living enterprise; make me your instrument of peace. I love you.
Thank you for sanity, our home, our jobs, our health, family and friends, so many blessings… thank you so much for taking such good care of me. Please help me start the next chapter of my life. Bring lottery winnings to my bank account if it is in accordance with your Holy will… make ShamRock Studios and EPP, Inc. a new beginning for me. It’s a fun dream. Please don’t be mad at me to always ask for it. I was told to dream big… so, I do my best. Lol.
Come Lord, Jesus. Fill my life with your love and give me instructions each day. I wait for my marching orders. Whatever the cost… I say yes. Show me what you want me to do with my life and give me the grace and courage to do it.
2017-01-05 09:57pm
Today’s first day free of paranoia in the 3-week test
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Thank you, Saint Bendadict for helping me feel free of the perceived evil intentions from the enemy through my loved ones. Thank you, Mother Mary, for your protection and care. Thank you, Holy Spirit for your peace and loving presence. Thank you, Jesus, for saving me from my enemies, from my own faults and for saving my eternal future so I will one day be with you all of eternity. I love you, God, Holy Trinity- you are my everything.
Thank you that I felt only love today from my family. Thank you for your care and loving heart for me. Thank you for the hugs and love I was able to receive from my honey, DB- my support, my best friend, my love, my heart. Thank you that he is so patient and understanding patience with me. He is a saint. That is true. I am sorry for all the negative things I have said in the past years that were harshly spoken against him. I am truly grateful that you found him for my life journey companion. You did good- Father! I am so glad I found your will in who to choose for my husband. I could not dream of a better friend and love of my life. I would never trade him for anything or anyone ever in this life or the life to come. Pleases protect him. Fill him with your peace and bless our marriage. Thank you so much, Jesus, for the miracle of our love for each other.
Thank you, God, for all that you are doing for me each day as I recover and get stronger. Thank you for the gift of medicine that works so well for my system. I am forever glad that I have doctors that care for me and are supporting my mental stability. Please help me help someone that may be in need of an understanding friend. Send me someone that I can pay it forward and help. I would like to be a friend to someone in need to repay you for your kindness. Show me what I can do. Help me be a blessing to others and keep my in the palm of your hand so I never fall on my own strength. Without you, Dad, I can do nothing. Without you, Jesus, I am lost and all alone in my sin. Without you, Holy Spirit, I am a wreck- I need your comfort and care each breath I take. Without you, Holy Trinity, I cannot breathe or lift my heart to your loving hands and my life means nothing without you.
Help me share your amazing love to the people I meet. Help me not be so socially awkward and help me not appear to be a “Bit@h” as I feel I mistakenly come off as being. I don’t know how to relate to people for some reason. I have lost my social skills and feel lost as to what to say to people when I speak. My brain goes into anxiety mode and I walk away half the time… I don’t know why I am so socially challenged now days. Is this some kind of spirit or am I just out of sync now that I have so much on my mind. I have such huge dreams and imaginations of a fantasy life of ShamRock Studios, miracles in song, giving to the poor and feeding, sheltering the homeless… is there something I need to be doing? I ask my self this each day and feel so lost as to what could I possibly do? Today, I only can get my work done, pray and journal. I should be writing songs, a novel, praying for people, and so much more!
Should I go back to VU to pray for people? I would like to practice it more and I need to pray for my family more. Especially my dad’s health. Lord, Please send your healing love to my dad and heal his cold and also strengthen his heart… or better yet- Lord, Jesus- please give my dad a new healthy and strong heart. Let his doctor tell him he no longer needs to wear the Defibulator vest! A creative miracle is what I am praying for, Jesus. Mother Mary- please intercedes for me and take my prayers to the Father in your special manner that you offer gifts to Dad. Please make my meager attempt at prayers into a beautiful bouquet of flowers that are placed on a golden platter with Golden Delicious apples, grapes and some of his favorite cheese and crackers. Ask him if he would accept my prayers – especially for my dad’s health renewed- and answer my prayer. I am so sorry for my sins. Since my last confession, Lord, I have sworn twice… the word you dislike most. Please for give me. I will try to control my tongue and anger. Mother, Please help me be the person Jesus would like me to be. Jesus, make me clean and purify my heart and thoughts so that I can better speak with the Father and so he will hear my prayers. Make me whole. Wash me clean so I have nothing between my and My Daddy. Dad, you are my rock. I love you!
Please hear my prayers. Please equip and empower me to be all that you are calling me to be. Help me know what that looks like. Show me the way to your heart and help me sing of your love. I long to sing… but have not much talent. Give me ideas for songs. Show me the whole song and create through me. Use me as an instrument of your peace. Help me shine your light to the world. It’s dark down here. Come soon, Lord Jesus. Help me prepare your way so that people won’t miss out on your return. Heaven come down. Love, flow through my life, and make me your living enterprise. I want to be that person. I want to make my dreams a reality. Help me shake these dreams into reality. Holy Spirit, possess my heart and work your miracles through my life.
I offer you my yes to whatever you have in store for me. That is all I can do is offer my little life, my little confused brain and my big heart for your will be done. Don’t let me think so much of myself. Show me what I can do each day to walk closer with you. Your light is so bright; help me wipe away the fog in my eyes. I want to see you clearly. Come, Lord Jesus, fill my heart and make me anew. Show me the way to my destiny. Don’t let me miss my destiny, Jesus. Please help me deal with what you have given me. This cross is great. But your love is bigger and that’s good enough for me. Cheers!